


To the Ends of My Courage

by iorekbyrnison



Series: To the Ends of My Courage [1]
Category: Digimon - All Media Types
Genre: Agumon - Freeform, Comfort, Family, Friendhip, Love, M/M, Sacrifice, Self-Destruction, Taichi/Koushirou, digimon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 13:30:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 32,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iorekbyrnison/pseuds/iorekbyrnison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't easy being leader, but being friend, brother, son, and partner had always come naturally so Taichi stepped forward,walking toward the digimon that seemed darker than the depths of hell even as he heard Koushirou start to scream. Taishirou Slash</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eyes

_iorekbyrnison_

For all of his genius Izumi Koushirou still hadn't seen through Taichi's actions until it was too late. The leader had kept his back turned towards the group as he confidently yelled that he had a plan. Koushirou himself had seen the brunette conversing with Gennai, so he hadn't doubted Taichi, but the red head should have known. He was Taichi's best friend. He should have _known_. Never since they had met had Taichi not faced the group as equals. Through every battle and every victory Yagami Taichi had taken his place as the leader of the digidestined and faced them all with a cocky smirk and melting brown eyes.

And oh Taichi's eyes held the sun. They were the sun as far as Koushirou was concerned. Even now they shined brighter over any explosion, any flame that ignited on the battlefield. Taichi's eyes had special powers. They weren't exceptionally sharp, nor were they an unusual color, but the brunette's eyes had always held more of Taichi than anything else. When Taichi was happy his eyes shined, bringing happiness to others. When Taichi was sad his eyes melted making his friends immediately take notice. Taichi was not Taichi without the power of his eyes and Koushirou would have given anything then, anything at that moment to erase the anguish that exuded like beacons from Taichi's muddy irises.

Of course the Digital World was in danger again, when was it not? Just when the digidestined had begun to get on with their lives this new threat had shown up. It was unlike anything they had ever seen, a great miasma on the sky killing the clouds and the rain that weeped from them. Even with multiple jogressed, ultimate, and mega digimon their attacks fell uselessly upon its intangible shell. Taichi had been earnestly fighting with the rest of their friends before Gennai had called him away. Koushirou knew not what they spoke of, nor could he see his friends face, but Taichi's shoulders had straightened before he turned around and stiffly made his way back to the battle. He should have known it then. Koushirou knew Taichi better than anyone. Their leader never walked alone into battle if the rest of the digidestined could help it, but Taichi cut through the middle of the group, Agumon close behind, through the fires, through the rubble, each step heavier and heavier before he stopped only yards away from their new enemy.

It was then that Koushirou knew.

He knew it in his soul like he knew the nuances of his bond with Tentomon. He knew it in his heart where he kept the memories of his friends and loved ones.

Yagami Taichi had a plan, but he was not expecting to live through it.

As the black flames engulfed his best friend and his leader, Taichi turned towards Koushirou, brown eyes liquid pools of anguish, and muttered one word through broken and bloody lips.

"Goodbye."

Koushirou didn't realize he was screaming until Taichi and the miasma both faded from view, twinkling lights on the wind. And what Koushirou would always remember most about that day would always be Yagami Taichi's eyes.

-End-


	2. Resolve

His screams ripped through the air, piercing through the explosions and shouts of the battlefield around them. He knew this is what it felt like to die. He was being split apart. His skin burned and peeled and blood bubbled forth from his lips gushing and spilling onto the ground beneath him.

One crest.

That is what Gennai had explained to him only a few moments ago. Away from the prying, curious, brave ears of the rest of his friends, the digital senior had told him the key to defeating their new enemy. An enemy that couldn't be defeated by anything but the light of a dieing crest.

Gennai hadn't asked him to do it simply because he knew all along that Taichi would choose no other than himself for the task. He still possessed the power of the crest of courage, though Daisuke had taken over the mantle of leadership. He could still be of use in this situation.

Even if he had the time to think through all of the possibilities, Taichi's mind would have come up with nothing. He mourned shortly but fiercely the loss of his family, his friends, and his digital partner who stood silently by his side. He would no more share a room with his baby sister Kari, would no longer tag along to the digital world with the younger kids, attend band practice with Yamato, bother Sora at her mother's flower shop, sit in comfortable silence as Koushirou typed away on his beaten pineapple laptop, roll his eyes at Mimi's incessant love of pink, or wince dramatically as Jyou sterilized his newest soccer wound. He would never experience the overwhelming peace he felt in the presence of Agumon nor the contentment of hanging around the house with his mom and dad.

He mourned for that, but his decision did not waver. He would rather them live than be taken by this miasma that threatened the digital world once again. He would rather his death be the only burden on both the worlds.

Taichi wondered how they would rationalize his actions. Would they think he did it because he was the leader? Certainly a few of the younger kids would. Would Kari believe he had sacrificed himself for her? Would Koushirou look at the situation trying to find a logical explanation? Would Yamato scream and curse his betrayal of friendship in guilty anger? Would Sora and Mimi cry? Would Jyou take care of them all or would Takeru once more be the voice of reason and hope?

He knew above all else why this decision was easy. He knew why he could so easily throw away his existence, why he could so simply see the black and white of the situation. Taichi loved them. He might have been the bearer of the Crest of Courage but even a slightly less than average student like himself could tell you that courage was more than just bravery. Courage was the sincerity of feelings, the reliability of consistent actions, the love for the people around him, the friendship that tied him down, the knowledge that showed him the path to victory, the light and hope that was forever present, the miracles of life and the kindness to realize everyone was different, but no less useful. Courage without those things was simply foolhardiness and he had had his share of mistakes with that sense of recklessness. It was for this reason that he couldn't really believe he was throwing away all that he had fought for since that first day at soccer camp. No, his memory would live on even after his body decomposed and his friends began sprouting gray hairs.

Stepping forward was a battle in itself then. Taichi's body reactions were far different than the feeling in his heart. His skin crawled and his hands shook. The brunette could only imagine what his eyes beheld because those chocolate depths were the only things that showed the other digidestined his resolve before it was simply too late.

It wasn't easy being leader, but being friend, brother, son, and partner had always come naturally so Taichi stepped forward even as Koushirou began to scream his name. Walking toward the digimon that seemed darker than the depths of hell, it was only the flickering light of his crest shining like fire upon his chest that kept his path straight. The blackness shrank back, confused at Taichi's confidence, but lashed out full force against him.

He would do it for them because he loved them.

As the black flames engulfed his body he could only turn to meet eyes with the redheaded computer genius. Through the explosions and the screams their eyes locked, chocolate brown upon soulful ebony. "Goodbye."

And his screams matched Koushirou's only with much more agony and fading intensity as his life beholden on the crest broke, shattering into a million golden pieces cleansing the area of the fowl miasma. Taichi felt his bond with Agumon unwrapping itself from his soul, wrenching away the deep roots taking with it all the most potent emotions he had felt about his partner that had gone through so much with him. Agumon understood this because he too had things that he loved. The two were one in soul but two in physicality as Taichi briefly realized through his dieing anguish that Agumon only stood motionless on the other side of the black flames. The orange beast slowly shifting to Koromon then lower and lower until only an egg remained. Taichi knew this was goodbye as well. Looking down at his hands, no longer tanned from too much time playing in the sun, but a mixture of blistered red and blackened coal. He too was beginning to waste away.

Koushirou had once explained that whenever someone was harmed in the Digital World, they suffered in the real world as well. It was the reason why Taichi had faltered when saving Sora back on Server and also the reason he began to treat his friends' safety as more than a cluster of pixels in danger of deletion but a cluster of people with hearts, flesh, blood, dreams, and love in danger of loss far greater than death. The computer genius had never, however, postulated what would happen in the event of a death of one of the digidestined. Would they simply return to pixels and die in the real world? Would they be trapped in a digital limbo? Would they simply freeze like a computer program infected with a virus?

The red head would have his answer now, or at least partially, because Taichi felt the exact moment when the light of his crest and partner ceased to be. The original leader of the chosen children knew without a doubt that he would soon follow. And as his blackened figure finally stopped receiving signals of pain Taichi noticed blankly that his body was shattering just as the Crest of Courage before it. Idly he realized that his fingers were gone, dissolving into barely there particles and floating on the digital wind and then it was his arm and then his legs. There was no fear, only the deepest sense of satisfaction that he had completed his life doing only the things he believed in and loved. His friends may hate him, mourn him, curse destiny for making things turn out this way, but they would be alive doing it and that was all Taichi Yagami had ever asked.

He gave a great sigh, smiling as his lips disappeared and the last thing that the digidestined saw living of their leader was his melting chocolate eyes and his slightly singed, gravity defying, mane of brown hair before he faded, sparkling and glimmering like courageous flames into the sky.


	3. Pink

**Pink:**

**Taichi and Mimi**

Her room was pink.

It wasn't surprising really. To Taichi the only way to describe Mimi Tachikawa was with a sentence that included the word 'pink'. Taichi had never been a fan of it himself but he had never seen Mimi out of the color from the time they all fell through the digital gate, him wearing his blue shirt and goggles and her draped in a large brimmed pink western style hat and ill matching accessories all those years ago.

Still, he couldn't help but stop and gape the first time he walked into her room. He had long ago forgotten his purpose in going there but Mimi, with pink hair sans hat, only giggled and bounced lightly upon her pink bedspread. The words were out of his mouth before he could check them tumbling through her ears and back out against the multitude of plush toys the blond had stacked on her bed.

"Why do you love pink so much?"

Mimi's eyes sparkled as she contemplated how she would answer his question. Taichi knew without a doubt that many had asked her the same question before, but it was his first time. Mimi and pink was just something Taichi had come to expect from the cheery girl just as he had come to expect Koushirou's laptop and Yamato's harmonica. Though pink wasn't quite a physical item that Mimi could never be without, the color just seemed natural.

"Well, I don't know Taichi. That's a complicated question." Mimi smiled once again and Taichi knew she was telling the absolute truth. The color pink to Mimi was more than just a hallmark. It was more than just a color. Once upon a time, before he gave them to Daisuke, Taichi had used his goggles to identify himself. Unaware of how many fashion laws he was breaking, the leader of the digidestined took courage from the eye wear and gained confidence just from snapping them further up into his wild nest of brown hair.

"Does it give you courage?" Taichi's voice rasped. Mimi gazed at him now her eyebrows drawn down and an amused glint settled in her eyes.

"Well, yes, when I first got to the digital world I needed something to keep me straight. I'm sure you remember how disgustingly weak we all were back then, not used to walking long distances and always expecting dinner to just jump into our hungry mouths. Back then I felt so alone. I didn't know any of you and I was sure _I_ was the weakest one, always complaining when you all kept trudging through deserts and enemy digimon. I didn't know myself back then, but I knew my clothes, my hat, my gloves. They were all mine from the real world. My parents had bought them for me from the _real_ world and the color just made me happy because when I thought of pink I thought of mommy and daddy and all of my friends I thought were waiting for me back at camp." Mimi raised a hand to her face and rested her cheek against the palm.

Taichi understood now. It wasn't so much the color that Mimi liked but the memories that came with it. He understood that. The brunette had once clung so hard to his goggles he didn't think he could survive without them. They were physical manifestations of memories just as Yamato's harmonica, Sora's bike helmet, Jyou's square rimmed glasses, Takeru's baggy forest green vest, Hikari's whistle, and Koushirou's pineapple laptop. Those items had been with them from the beginning and some of them had helped save the lives of a digidestined or two.

Mimi giggled at the serious expression on Taichi's face and unwilling to allow her friend to brood about things on such a wonderful day. "Of course Taichi, I then realized that pink was absolutely my best color. I look sexiest in pink you know!"

Taichi's mouth twitched and he let loose a slight chuckle despite himself. Though he didn't particularly enjoy the color pink , he did enjoy his good friend Mimi's company, even if he had to sit down on her hideously pink comforter only to be instantly buried by the plush avalanche that began when he jostled the mattress.

As Mimi giggled at his expense, Taichi couldn't help but feel happy that Mimi was who she was, pink and all.


	4. Growth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Takeru

For as long as he had known him Yagami Taichi never really paid much attention to Takaishi Takeru. Despite his place as a chosen child, despite all the close saves, despite everything else, Taichi just never really thought of the blonde tyke.

Sometimes in a passing thought Taichi would wonder the differences between Takeru and his brother Yamato. Sometimes, too, he would wonder about the blonde's new job as a second generation chosen child, but such thoughts were not long nor deep and were almost always trampled over by something far more distracting like soccer. Takeru was someone who was just simply always there and Taichi loved him dearly, but he had never quite gotten past the image of a small sobbing boy dressed in a mushroom like hat and an oversized vest. Possibly it was because he wasn't able to think of Takeru as anything other than the small child who drove his elder, overly protective brother spare or maybe he couldn't get the image of the blonde and his own younger sister Hikari merrily playing tag with their digimon despite the imminent threat of the Dark Masters. Such innocence in those days were hard to find amongst the changing dynamics in their own digidestined group and frequent battles against evil digimon, so Taichi found himself holding onto those thoughts and Takeru was thus stuck in limbo always seen as the little boy who Yamato had entrusted him to protect. He never became anything else.

Until, that is, the day Takaishi Takeru and Yagami Hikari announced they were dating.

Rightfully as the older brother, Taichi's first instinct was to severely maim Takeru then make sure he never saw his sister as an attractive woman ever again. The brunette had been close very many times to carrying out such plans, especially when it finally connected that Takeru was _Yamato's_ brother which meant they shared the same blood, which meant they shared the sames genes, which meant they shared the same tendency to be a bastard, which meant they shared the same potential to be complete dickheads when it came to girls.

However, Taichi had to stop himself on the premise of Takeru's history as a chosen child. The perpetual little boy image had probably saved the blonde from instant death because it made Taichi stumble in his thoughts. Takeru was nothing like Yamato, because he was the boy that Taichi had met all those years ago at soccer camp trying to bring his parents together again and be a family with his brother. But as Taichi contemplated his past, the brunette began to watch Takeru and his interactions with the world. He soon discovered that the child of hope was nothing like his brother nor the little sobbing boy. Takeru had grown up in more ways than one.

Sure, the teen had shed his overly large green vest and he certainly didn't cry as much as before, but as Taichi observed , Takeru had grown taller. He was solid in the shoulders, more like his dad and less lithe than Yamato. Playing basketball had given the child of Hope fine muscles though they were hidden under his uniform most of the time. His mushroom hat had been replaced by a white bucket hat, protecting his blonde locks from being mussed when Patamon rested of his head. Takeru's face had smoothed out, no longer chubby with baby fat but more thin, not angular like Yamato's but rounded and smiling.

Takeru's temperament had changed as well. While the younger boy had been prone to tears and slightly hyperactive as a child, the teen now was calm and collecting, only losing his cool with Daisuke's impetuous attempts to woo Hikari. With his new team Takeru was no longer too young and his voice carried more weight than it had before. His teammates were willing to listen to his logic where the first digidestined were more concerned about protecting him without voice.

Perhaps, though, the one thing that kept Taichi from killing Takeru was the fact that the blonde worshiped his sister. Takeru treated Hikari like glass and steal at the same time, protecting her but also letting her her have room to make her own decisions, having faith in her strength. He protected Hikari from all outside forces and in the time when the girl was almost taken by the dark ocean, he had protected her from herself. Whatever Hikari said, Takeru took to heart. He laughed with her, cried with her, and overwhelmingly loved her.

Seeing this Taichi could only approve of the relationship and looking back he guessed that Takeru had always been the only one he would have considered as Hikari's life mate. The child of Hope belonged alongside the child of Light. It was as simple as the fact that Taichi belonged with his partner Agumon or the other digidestined with their digimon. Takeru had come a long way from his childhood. He was no longer that child nor was he anything close to being Yamato. Takeru was Takeru and that suited Taichi just fine.

Besides, just thinking about Daisuke as a brother-in-law made Taichi shudder.


	5. Soccer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Daisuke

There was a reason Taichi had named Motomiya Daisuke as his successor and though the rest of his friends would probably roll their eyes and laugh, Taichi knew that Daisuke would understand his reasoning best of all. That was because Daisuke lived and breathed soccer.

Some would look oddly at the boy, noticing his wide grin and twinkling eyes and come to the conclusion that he wasn't much of a thinker because only those that were slightly less than average could shine so obliviously, but Taichi looked at Daisuke through all of his shouting, all of his fawning over Hikari, all of his impatience and saw the beginnings of a great leader.

It began with the goggles, he knew, because to Taichi the goggles that had been perched on his head since the beginning of his travels throughout the digital world meant more to him than simple eye wear. When the new portal had opened to the Digital World and Taichi discovered that his role would forever more be on the sidelines he had observed the brash boy and noticed that _something_ was missing. If Taichi couldn't be the hero, if he couldn't protect the new digidestined, then someone else would have to do it for him and who better than the holder of the digi-egg of courage? That day he had pulled off his goggles, the ones that gave him courage and reminded him of happy times and pressed them into the smirking Daisuke's hands. That day Daisuke became his successor.

The others in the original digidestined had looked at him odd for days their eyes snapping between their leader and this new character, but they said nothing. Taichi was their leader, no one had really ever questioned that except maybe Yamato. Though his methods weren't always clear cut and understandable, Taichi had never failed in his position when it really mattered. Had they asked Taichi probably would have explained about soccer.

To him soccer was a sport that emulated real life. Nothing was so exhilarating as running the ball down the field, the sun in eyes and a victorious flush upon his cheeks when his team scored. Soccer was about living, seizing the moment and running with it no matter if your attempt was successful or not. Most of all though soccer was about friendship and family. Sure, when he had those moment of tearing down the field only himself and the soccer ball weaving through his shocked opponents, Taichi enjoy some minor pleasure in being not good, but great at soccer and knowing it, but keeping the ball to yourself, making that scoring goal or even being named MVP wasn't the true meaning of the sport. Soccer was about laughter, about happiness, about support from the team, and nurturing relationships through common goals and interests. Soccer had taught Taichi long before he traveled to the Digital World that life was useless and lonely without a team, a family, to back him up. It was why he fought so hard to keep the digidestined together and why he made time in his busy schedule to keep in touch with friends because through their journeys all of the chosen children had become family.

Daisuke had been on the team for only a short amount of time, but the boy was extraordinarily good. He understood the field, the team, and the importance of not taking on the entire opposing team all by himself. It was what made Taichi think he would become a great leader for the new digidestined. He would trust no other and although Taichi knew Daisuke would make just as many mistakes as he had the first time around, the younger boy would always succeed in the important things. He would always leave more time for his friends and focus on the team rather than the game.

And as the person who passed on those goggles, Taichi looked forward to seeing Daisuke grow into an even better leader than himself.


	6. Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Yamato

Taichi had always been partial to the harmonica.

Yes, some would say it was cheesy, but ever since those first few nights in the digital world when he heard Yamato's sad camp fire melody, Taichi couldn't help being preferential towards the instrument. The night that seadramon attacked them Taichi had known Yamato was talented musically so it wasn't a surprise when the bearer of the crest of friendship had first announced he had created a band.

The band was successful and Yamato became even more of a girl magnet than before, eventually drawing Taichi's own crush towards his blue flame. Despite his sadness, Yamato remained one of Taichi's best friends and though the brunette loved all the music Yamato's band created nothing could surpass those still nights in the Digital World when the rest of the digidestined were all asleep and a harmonica melody floated lightly through the air. Those nights so long ago had always felt less lonely, as if Yamato's music sapped away all thoughts of being so far away from home and took away the fear of simply not knowing what would happen once the sun rose over the horizon.

Taichi had never told Yamato his secret pleasure of course, but the blonde had obviously picked up on it, because sometimes when just the two of them hung out Yamato would idly pull out his harmonica and play. The songs weren't always sad, nor were they all particularly passionate, but Taichi always loved the calm atmosphere that would settle upon the room and allow himself to rest his eyes letting the music drift over him while the memories passed through his head. Those times ,too, became pleasant memories for the leader of the chosen children, because despite all they had been through, despite all the fights, despite all the pain, Yamato's harmonica made him forget the bad. When the pain of missing Agumon became too much Taichi would allow Yamato's music to fill him, bouncing off the empty places in his soul, promising better times ahead. When Taichi found out that he would be unable to help the new digidestined, especially unable to protect Hikari, Yamato's music gave him cheer and though the blonde was expressionless as ever, Taichi knew that Yamato understood. Takeru was a second generation chosen too after all.

If anyone else thought it was weird for Taichi's favorite instrument to be something like a harmonica then that was okay. Yamato understood and probably the rest of the digidestined too, because not one of them really regretted anything that had come from their time in the Digital World. Those times, though, were long gone, as were those precious melodic nights sitting watching over his team accompanied by a little orange dinosaur. That fact saddened Taichi more often than not, because it felt like of all the digidestined he had been the only one who couldn't truly move on, as if there was still some purpose that he hadn't fulfilled or some adventure he had missed out on. Sora had once commented that it was only his personality backfiring on him, because Taichi had always been the type of person searching for one thrill after another, but the brunette knew the truth. His soul ached for his own place in the world, the place he had found in the Digital World, traipsing through forests, deserts, and snowbanks. Yamato's music was a balm to that ache. It made him forget for just a little while how utterly useless he was now that _he_ wasn't the leader, but Daisuke was. It felt, sometimes, though he loved Daisuke a lot, that his own placed had been ripped away from him. The fact that he couldn't walk through the Digital World getting into trouble and then blasting out of it in victory along with the rest of his team was odd and alien to him, even more alien than the Digital World was to regular people.

When he heard Yamato's music it was like Taichi was transported to the past and the once goggle headed leader of the chosen children couldn't have been more grateful to his blonde friend. Because friends, true friends, knew what was wrong without asking and then knew how to fix the problem or make the pain go away in their presence and Taichi had always been appreciative of Yamato's presence even if the boy was overly fond of his hair.

So, thinking this as he and Yamato sat in his room one night one playing an old beat up harmonica and the other simply listening to the sound on the air, Taichi couldn't help but whisper out to the world.

"Thank you." Yamato may have heard or maybe not, but the words hung around and Taichi never thought to take them back.


	7. Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Sora

Sora was different than how she used to be.

Not that that was strange. Nobody could have stayed the same person after all of their adventures in the Digital World and none of the digidestined would have become the people they are today without so many close calls and death defying situations. Sora, though, had traveled miles and miles from the girl he had known since their early childhoods.

The girl that was swept away to the Digital World all those years ago had been weak and awkward, unsure of her emotions and her loved ones. Though she bore the crest of love, Sora knew not how the emotion felt nor that she had it all along.

Sora, Taichi observed, was like a flower that had finally bloomed. When he had known her as a child she was merely a bulb, needing dirt and water to grow. Then, when the digidestined had proved themselves bonded so deeply it seemed unbreakable, Sora sprouted healthy green leaves. When the red head had finally bloomed, Taichi had noticed that as well, because she simply changed so much. Sora had embraced her crest, her love, her partner, her friends, her mother, and her femininity.

For a while, Taichi had taken particular interest in the last, but it was clear that her romantic love would always be for someone other than himself. Taichi was always to be a placeholder for best guy friend in the eyes of his crush, because Yamato had taken the place of boy friend. For a moment, Taichi wanted to be furious when Sora had told him she would confess to the blonde. He wanted to be angry at the boy he thought to call best friend, feeling as if he had been too deeply betrayed, but Taichi wasn't the leader of the chosen children for nothing. Yamato would always be his best friend. There were just too many fond memories to shove that friendship to the side and Taichi would always love Sora, but it didn't necessarily have to be in a romantic way. Of course, the brunette's heart had ached for a while, but it wouldn't be fair to the others for him to create a rift in the team for something so petty. So Taichi dealt with his broken heart, spending time with other friends, talking with Koushirou, and observing what his crush had become over the years.

It wasn't long before Taichi noticed the vast differences in the girl that Sora once was and the girl she became. Where once Sora had been an awkward preteen stranded in and alien world willing to be protected, and beginning to yearn for her own greater power to protect, she was now completely confident in her role in the group and the strength of the bond she had formed with her partner Digimon. His Sora, the Sora that no longer was, had not cared much for appearances, her red locks forever hidden under a bike helmet and her clothes boyish and constantly scuffled. This new Sora dressed to impress it seemed. She had an interest in fashion and fretted over what outfit would impress Yamato the most even if the blonde himself didn't particularly care. She had also replaced the bike helmet with a more feminine broach that Taichi himself had bought her as a gift, though it caused a minor fight when he did. Taichi's Sora had always worn a mischievous smile on her face, more conspiratorial than the motherly expression she dawned these days.

None of these changes were bad. If anything, Taichi loved the new Sora more than his Sora, but he did so in a far more platonic way. If he had to pick the one thing that had changed the most about Sora though, Taichi's thoughts would instantly go to Sora's new position at her mother's flower shop. From the first day that Taichi had met the girl, she had simply refused to do anything with flowers. Sora gave no real explanation as to why she disliked the shop so much, but the red head's animosity lasted far into middle school until one day she miraculously announced she would be taking over shifts three days a week after school. Taichi made it a point to go visit her some days, just to get on her nerves for old times sake, but in her mother's flower shop Sora was once more a different person.

When Sora was working with flowers it seemed that every bloom yearned for her touch. No matter the arrangement, flowers just seemed to be at home in the warrior of love's fingertips. On some days, when Taichi was quiet for a while, Sora would hum or talk to the flowers, her soft voice floating through the shop. Taichi realized then most of all that Sora was truly different from the girl he had known as child. Here Sora was happy and content with her life. She was in love with Yamato, excited with Tennis, patient with her friends, happy with her mother, and calm with her flowers. There didn't seem any place for Taichi in her life because before it had been him protecting her and now she didn't need protection. So, Taichi was content to be her friend and no more. He and Sora would always be close friends, but Taichi knew his place.

His place now was to stand back and watch the bloom bask in the sun.


	8. Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Iori

On that first day returning to the Digital World for the third time, learning his new place as a retired digidestined and passing his title of leadership onto Daisuke, Taichi was not ashamed to admit he had jumped a little when Iori spoke. The young boy had been so silent and perfectly willing to blend into the background, easily hiding in the shadow of Daisuke's own flamboyant personality that Taichi hadn't even realized the boy was there.

Iori was even younger than Takeru and Hikari had been during his original trip to the Digital World. Well, he was physically younger anyway, Taichi saw none of the childish tendencies within Iori that had been present long ago in the warriors of hope and light. Iori was serious, his eyes sharp, showing only blankness where emotions should be. He worried more than Jyou had. He got frustrated with immaturity more than even Yamato. Iori was a blended mixture of all the taciturn adult qualities of the original digidestined at the young age of nine.

It was that attitude that made Taichi want to grab Iori and either embrace him like he always embraced Hikari or play a trick on him just to see if the boy would laugh. It wasn't right for a boy to keep so much bottled inside himself because Taichi knew without any doubts that Iori was simply hiding from the world. Something had happened to the boy to make him far more mature than his age.

Hikari had been the one to tell him when he asked. She was frowning as she did so, whether she hadn't wanted to reveal something that was Iori's to reveal or she was simply worried for the new child of knowledge, Taichi knew not. Taichi only knew that every bone in his body was telling him to help Iori however he could. The former leader knew it wasn't his place. Daisuke or one of the other younger digidestined should be the one to break the kid out of his shell, but Taichi had never been so good at controlling his impulsive tendencies.

Iori had lost his father. Taichi didn't know what that was like. He didn't know either what it was like to live in such a traditional household, but those things were probably to his advantage anyway. Taichi knew what it was like to have a father who he might never see again. He knew what it was like to look up into the stars in the digital world and wonder if they'd ever get home to their families. The Digital World had given each of the digidestined purchase. It had given the chosen children all the things they needed to create a better life for themselves. Whether it be a lack of courage, or lack of understanding of love and friendship, the adventures of the Chosen Children throughout the Digital World taught lessons far beyond how to stay alive. So Taichi had to trust in the world he loved so much to do the same for the youngest member of the team, but that didn't mean he couldn't help things along.

Taichi got his chance on one of the few nights that the entire digidestined team had been able to get together including Mimi who was visiting from America. They had all decided to have the party at Taichi and Hikari's apartment as it was the most spacious and their parents were to be out for most of the night. As the older digidestined mingled in with the younger Taichi noticed that while Iori was definitely part of the group, the boy still stood stiffly off to the side. Approaching quietly Taichi almost chuckled when he rested a tan hand upon the Iori's head, surprising the boy enough that he almost dropped the drink he was holding. Taichi smirked and ruffled Iori's hair, what little of it there was, before clapping the boy on a slim shoulder.

"Hey kid!" Iori frowned obviously annoyed at being treated so familiar by someone he hardly knew.

"Yes Taichi?" Taichi could only smile. At least there had been a reaction. The Digital World was already working. Iori wasn't so content to blend in on this day. The call of kinship was hard to resist and while Taichi himself had never been so introverted he could understand the significant importance of Iori's willingness to drop the blank expression in his eyes for only a mere moment while in someone else's presence.

"Hey, come with me okay." Iori looked around to the rest of the group obviously searching for help and finding none. Taichi knew he was much like Daisuke in some regards and Iori avoided his leader when at all possible so he shouldn't have been so sad at the young digidestined's obvious snub.

Giving up when he saw no help forthcoming Iori merely sighed and followed Taichi out of the room. They stepped out on the balcony that connected to the living room and Taichi shut the door as Iori walked up to the railing. The curtains on the sliding glass door were pulled apart so the two could still see the party going on inside, but they couldn't hear any of their friends' voices through the glass.

"What did you need Taichi?" Iori's voice carried over the small space, calm but cautious. Obviously Iori felt he was being cornered.

Taichi merely smiled at the boy and walked up beside him to lean on the railing facing the busy streets far below. "You don't need to be so stiff Iori. I'm not going to push you off." The joke on his part didn't do much but anger the boy further and Taichi knew he better get to the point before the situation became useless. "Iori, I wasn't made leader of the first group of chosen children for nothing you know."

The brunette's voice was soft and confident, all traces of joking evaporating into the slightly humid atmosphere. Iori's eyes sharpened and he turned from the balcony railing to face Taichi.

"I'm not sure I'm the person you need to be speaking with Taichi."

"Oh yes Iori, I mean to be speaking with you and no other." Taichi kept facing forward. Looking into those eyes at this moment, glaring holes into the side of his head, would not be good for the conversation. "Like I said, I wasn't made leader of the digidestined for nothing and over the years I've learned a thing or two."

"Like what?" Iori's voice wasn't hostile but a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

"Well, observation skills for one. You don't go through puberty with Yamato without learning how to deal with emotions you know. I swear if he wasn't so in love with Sora I would believe he was a girl." Taichi paused with a small fond smile and glanced at the boy at his side. "Don't tell him I said that though. He'd doing something horrible like cut my hair in my sleep or hide all my soccer balls."

The joke served to lighten the atmosphere somewhat because the small crease between Iori's eyebrows softened and his eyes grew less icy so Taichi allowed himself to continue. "I learned though when we were all in the Digital World that it isn't good for someone to let their emotions get all piled up in their chests. It leads to the darkness and messes with the team and then effects with the relationships between the two worlds. I've been watching you new digidestined Iori and I've noticed a lot about you."

The stiffness was back in Iori's face. The boy was frowning now, unsure of how they should proceed. "With all due respect Taichi, you are not the leader of the digidestined anymore. I do not believe it is your place to be confronting such things."

Taichi sighed and pushed himself from the railing before turning towards Iori. Whatever had broken within him at Iori's harmless words must have shown through his eyes because the boy immediately looked guilty. It wasn't the expression that Taichi had hoped this conversation would bring. Taichi had always been wrestling with the true meaning to the end of his digital travels. Where all the other digidestined had gone on with their lives, Taichi remained mostly the same. While the others had gone on to new sports, new schools, new countries, new friends, Taichi himself had stayed with the same hairstyle, the same worn soccer cleats and the same empty feeling in his soul. While he had passed on his goggles, Taichi could still feel their ghost like weight resting upon his forehead and often times had to stop himself from trying to adjust them when he realized they were no longer nestled upon his wild hair. The brunette was beginning to think that maybe something inside of him was cracked, that there should be something wrong with being so fixated on his past, but Taichi couldn't stop his feelings. The only thing he could do now was watch, listen, and try not to drown in his own emotions.

"No, I am not your leader. That time has passed, but we are still teammates and that means we must watch out for each other." Iori turned his head to the side for a moment rolling over the statement in his head like it was a particularly difficult math equation.

"What did you wish to say to me Taichi?" The boy rested his hand against the railing of the balcony resting his weight on it perhaps silently asking for strength.

"I know about your father Iori." Iori's head snapped to face Taichi once more and for the first time the brunette saw emotion in those sharp eyes. One after another feelings zipped through the boy's irises swirling and resting for a small second before before replaced with something new. Taichi pressed on. "I'm not here to give you a lecture or anything. I know I'm not the person you would wish to talk to about any of that and I'm sure I probably couldn't sympathize with your problems, but I would just like you to know that being a part of the digidestined means being a part of a team. Your problems are our problems."

"Taichi please stop this now." Iori was shaking now. The emotions in his eyes beginning to gather at the corners forming fat dewy tears, but Taichi trudged on.

"Iori." Taichi's voice was lower now urging the boy to look in the former leader's brown eyes. "You are not alone anymore." Taichi brought his hand up and rested it gently upon the boy's head. Iori was still desperately fighting to hold in his tears. "You are younger than Takeru and Hikari were when they first went to the digital world you know? I kept looking at you and noticing how different you acted from them as children. I recognized that you have something buried pretty deep within you. I'm not here to tell you what to do Iori."

"Then what do you want?" Iori's voice was slightly hysterical as he stood facing Taichi, hands clenched into fist pressed tightly to his sides.

"When you are ready I think it would be a good idea if you were to talk to Jyou. You two have a lot in common personality wise. I can't help you anymore than this. I know that. I don't have the right experiences or the right words to help you, but I'm able enough to give you some advice. Don't repress your emotions to the point that you fall into darkness. You are a digidestined. We chosen children are far more susceptible to our weaknesses than most other people. If you let this fester then even the Digital World will be unable to heal what's broken in your heart. That is what happened to Ken after all."

Taichi's words hung in the air heavily, but lightly at the same time, buoyed by Iori's harsh, deep breaths. For a moment those gasps of air were the only sounds on the balcony at all before they too puttered out as Iori collected himself. The boy's eyes had taken on a thoughtful light as he considered the brunette in front of him. Finally Taichi moved his palm from Iori's head and turned back towards the railing. Leaning against it Taichi let out a sigh of his own. Iori was shuffling behind him, anxious but cautious to destroy the strangeness that had settled against them.

"Go back inside Iori. Enjoy the party. We don't get together often you know."

"What about you Taichi?" Iori's voice was dull, like he had shoved everything to the back of his mind, temporarily forgetting such overwhelming thoughts until he could sit down by himself and examine them.

"I'll be in in a minute. I'm going to enjoy the weather while I can. You go and try to have some fun." Iori shifted for a moment before nodding swiftly and making his way back into the living room. For a moment the happy voices of their friends rushed through the doorway, bathing Taichi with pleasant sound, before they were once again muffled as the sliding door clicked in place.

Taichi stood there for a moment and then a moment more. It wasn't much, but it was a start. Iori would develop on his own from now. The former leader of the chosen children could only hope he'd done the right thing. Being a leader did not come with a psychology for teams booklet, so the brunette was pretty much grabbing at straws.

Enjoying the warm night Taichi stood on the balcony until Koushirou came to retrieve him.


	9. Assumptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Miyako

Taichi had mixed feelings about Miyako. Really, he just didn't know enough about the girl to pass any kind of judgment. He and the purplette had so very little in common and such different schedules that there really was no reason to become close friends. The extent of Taichi's knowledge was thus reduced to what fond things Koushirou said in passing and what Mimi gushed about after shopping for hours on end with her protege.

According to the two Miyako was sweet, if a little rash and impulsive, but Taichi himself had those traits so he couldn't really fault her on them. Apparently she was ridiculously smart too, because the girl could understand Koushirou speak with little problem and that was something that took Taichi years to do. Sora had once mentioned that the girl had a crush on Yamato, but had done so in an amused tone leading the brunette to believe the young girl had lots of crushes. Hikari had backed him up on those thoughts. Daisuke was always complaining that her voice sounded like nails on a chalk board, but Taichi had little doubt that his own protege was always probably doing something stupid first to incur Miyako's wrath. Armed with all of these observations Taichi could still say he knew very little about Miyako herself because he hadn't ever really given up to time to get to know her.

With the other digidestined Taichi shared special moments. He had experienced the Digital World for the first time with the older Chosen Children and he had had adventures with each of the younger children except for Miyako. He didn't really know why that was. They weren't actively ignoring each other and in fact Miyako came to his apartment very often to hang out with Hikari. It was just he was either always out at the time or Hikari kicked him out of their room for 'girl time'.

So one day Taichi finally decided he would rectify the situation. Not knowing one of his team members left him feeling antsy. If the Digital World were ever in danger again, and he had no doubts that it would be, Taichi wanted to be sure he could count on everyone in the team based on his own observations rather than the collective observations from his friends no matter how much he trusted their opinions.

His moment came one day while he was lounging in his room. Hikari and Miyako had suddenly burst through the door giggling and smirking at each other about some joke between them. Taichi doubted very seriously that he would have found it funny. Hikari was on the verge of kicking him out of the room when their mother had called her to the kitchen. With an apologetic look Hikari excused herself for a moment and went back into the living room. She was out there for a while so Taichi could only assume that their mother had given his sister some chore to do. Meanwhile Miyako and Taichi just kind of stared at each other not really knowing what to do.

Taichi sat up from his slouched position on the bed and motioned for the purple headed girl to take a seat at the desk chair that sat across the room. As Miyako sat Taichi noticed her posture was naturally straight, but her wardrobe gave a kind of retro vibe, completed by her large rounded glasses that were perched high upon her nose. They were mixed signals, surely, but Taichi grinned when he saw them. Miyako was a mixture of traditional and trendy much like a mixture between her role models Sora and Mimi.

"So . . ." Taichi began and stopped, his voice dieing off because he suddenly didn't know how to proceed. What do you say to get to know a girl these days? Taichi had never had this problem before. The first conversations with the rest of the digidestined had all flowed naturally if a little strangely. Miyako was already not fitting into the mold that his friends had suggested. She hadn't rushed into this situation. She hadn't erupted in shrill screams as Daisuke had said. However, Taichi was the Chosen Child of Courage and the former leader of the digidestined. He would overcome this one small hurdle.

As he opened his mouth to begin again Miyako suddenly looked straight at him her eyes sharp and curious. "What does it feel like Taichi, to not be the leader anymore?"

Taichi gaped for a moment and stopped to let his emotions settle down. So Miyako certainly was rash and impulsive, but Taichi understood now. The girl simply didn't pull her punches. Taichi himself had this manner of speaking. It was just easier to get to the point and get things over with rather than hedge around the topic you really wished to speak about. Taichi had had many fights in the past with Yamato over that same impulsiveness.

Unable to help himself Taichi turned his head to the side and chuckled bitterly. When he turned back Miyako had no guilt in her eyes, not that he expected there would be. At this moment he felt more on the spot and on a dissection table than he ever had. "Straight to the point hmm Miyako?"

The girl nodded, a sharp downward motion with her chin, leaving no room for anything but professionalism. "The group, besides Hikari and Koushirou, they are all saying that Daisuke and you are very much alike. They say you are like twins with the same methods of speaking and the same annoying tendencies, but also the same spirit and ability to pull miraculous victory from the air."

Taichi thought about this for a moment. Yes, he and Daisuke were similar, he could admit that, but he had never considered his protege a copy of himself. Taichi certainly would have never handed his goggles over if that were so. The Digital World did not need two of him, nor did it need copies of any of the original Chosen. The younger digidestined would save that world their own way,

"And what do you say Miyako?" The girl smirked for a moment, her eyes twinkling merrily.

"If you were like Daisuke, then you would have not been able to ask that question. For all the friendship in the world I don't think Daisuke could ever be as patient or as observant as you." Taichi frowned.

"I think, Miyako, that you sell Daisuke short and you overestimate me. I've never been great at patience."

"Daisuke has his own good qualities. I know this, but I prefer to find things out for myself. You are the only digidestined I have not talked in depth with. I am eager to learn more about you." Now it Taichi's turn to smile merrily,

"Then I was right to hold my judgment until I could meet you myself. We are alike in that way. I trust my friends very much, but I think you've got to learn about a person from the person you are learning about. The rest of the digidestined had a lot to say about you as well."

Miyako frowned, as if the idea of someone talking about her was a repulsive idea. "And what things do they say about me Taichi?" The brunette warrior of courage merely shook his head with a smile. Such things were not for today. He would learn about Miyako from a blank slate, without the opinions of his friends and he told Miyako as much. The purplette nodded once more and their conversation dwindled into less serious topics. That day and the days that followed Taichi learned many new things about Miyako, some of the bad and annoying, but a far greater amount was good. When Hikari barged back into the room cheerily kicking her brother out Taichi could only shake his head before picking up a soccer ball and heading out of his apartment down to the park. One of Miyako's questions still rung through his head.

Miyako was a good girl. Taichi felt that he could trust her even within those few minutes of conversation. She certainly embodied the qualities of her digi-eggs and he took her words seriously.

"What does it feel like Taichi, to not be the leader anymore?"

Taichi hated himself for the bitter answer in his heart.


	10. Antiseptic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Jyou

Sometimes Yagami Taichi believed that Kido Jyou could be the most evil person on the planet.

Okay, so that wasn't exactly true, but the blue haired future doctor was certainly in the top ten, somewhere below the Dark Masters and above Taichi's 5th period math teacher.

Of course, Taichi owed such thoughts to a combination of Jyou's future career and his own penchant for injuring himself almost daily. Antiseptic certainly wasn't Taichi's favorite invention, but Jyou carried it around along with a roll of bandages specifically for instances when the brunette, in his infinite soccer stardom, managed to scrape his knees numerous times while taking a particularly spectacular yet gravity defying dives to steal the ball and score a goal.

Taichi winced as the sting reached the wound. Sure, he was used to this feeling. It haunted his dreams sometimes, when they were particularly innocent, but that didn't stop the former leader from hating it. "Jyou! That hurt!"

Jyou merely glanced at Taichi over his wide rimmed glasses before shaking his head and jabbing the cotton swab once again against the brunette's knee. Taichi growled and hissed at the pain frowning in indignation because he just knew the warrior of reliability was using his longish blue hair to cover a smirk. Jyou was _enjoying_ this. He always did.

"Taichi, if you didn't do such crazy things on the soccer field then I wouldn't have to fix you up after every game." Jyou was finally pulling out the bandages and Taichi let out a sigh of relief.

Flailing his arms a bit the brunette exclaimed, "But did you _see_ that goal? It was the greatest. The others were all in place and the goalie didn't even see it coming. We were awesome today and you know it!"

Jyou smiled fondly at his friend's enthusiasm. "Well, I'm glad you felt it was worth it."

Taichi glanced down at the kneeling boy who gently placed a bandage over his wounded knee before gathering his supplies back into his ever present medical bag. Suddenly the warrior of courage was smacked with an overwhelming sensation of deja vu. Jyou and he had been in this situation far too many times to count. It was as natural listening to Yamato play music or watching Koushirou calmly type programs into his laptop. Whenever Taichi was broken Jyou patched him up without complaint. It wasn't for practice in the field. It wasn't because Taichi asked him too. Jyou simply did it because they were friends and cared for each other.

Taichi had always marveled at the changes that the Digital World had wrought in his often worry riddled friend, but he had never thought on it so deeply. This Jyou, calmly situating his bag upon his shoulder and beginning to walk towards their waiting friends was not the young nerd back in the Digital World worried about one disease or another. He was not the boy who felt he needed to prove to himself and others the merit of his crest. This Jyou was reliable through and through.

"Jyou?" The boy stopped and turned back, something in Taichi's voice compelled him to listen and remember this moment. Watching his leader, the person that had taken them through the Digital World on courage and faith alone Jyou stood caught between Taichi and the rest of his friends.

It took Taichi a moment. He was no longer the leader of the digidestined and his friends were all going on without him, but that didn't mean he couldn't relish the moments they all still shared. If his friends represented the future, then he might be okay with being a representation of the past. Such things were important as Yamato was always telling him and Taichi honestly couldn't take the feeling of not knowing why he was so attached to things already committed to memory. Looking towards his blue haired friend and further back at the rest of the digidestined that had come to view his soccer game Taichi felt himself growing smaller and yet larger at the same time. The things he remembered, the adventures in the Digital World, the unfinished feeling in his soul, and his friends surpassing all that he could ever become were all things that he could deal with if they all lived happy lives.

"Is something wrong Taichi?" Jyou was frowning now because even he could feel that maybe something was coming to a close. Taichi merely looked at his friend and smiled a dazzling smile than ran through to his brown eyes and bathed the warrior of reliability as well as the rest of the digidestined with a warm glow. It was a smile of the past. It was the smile Taichi gave when he was proud of his team or when he was taking watch over the sleeping digidestined those long lonely nights in the Digital World. That smile was the sincerest that Taichi could produce and it seemed to light his face.

"Thank you for always being there Jyou. You're the most reliable person I know." And somehow when Taichi said it, those words struck deep into the blue haired boy's soul. Something had just happened. Something had happened that was irreversible, terrible, and yet wonderful at the same time. It would be a long time before the future doctor figured out exactly what it was, but Taichi had begun to walk towards him signaling the end of the conversation so Jyou too turned and walked towards their waiting friends completely missing the words that slipped out of the warrior of courage's lips.

"I'll be the past if you all can just keep working towards the future."

And then the brunette joined his friends, the scent of antiseptic wafting around him and its sting traveling upwards before finally resting in his soul.


	11. Bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Ken

Yagami Taichi understood Ichijouji Ken far better than anyone thought. It wasn't the kind of understanding the young soccer star had with his jogress partner Daisuke nor was it the kind of understanding that Ken had with Hikari on the matter of the Dark Ocean, but there were under currents to the warrior of kindness that the rest of the digidestined didn't see.

Ken held himself responsible for the evils of the Digital World. Taichi understood what such crushing responsibilities could do to a person. Ken understood what it was like to be the only stationary thing in a constantly moving world. Taichi understood what it was like to be the same boy he was in middle school, a leader without a team. Ken understood what it was like to look at the world and realize that everyone was shouting at each other, but nobody really knew what was being said. Taichi understood that sometimes, no matter what he did to change the situation, there were things that were beyond the brunette's control.

There was a time when Taichi had been so angry at Ken that the warrior of courage could barely stand to be in the same room. It was easy for the rest of the digidestined to forget about Agumon's imprisonment and accept Ken as one of the team, but it wasn't nearly so easy for Taichi. Agumon was his best friend, his partner, the other half of his soul and when Ken was the Digimon Emperor, Taichi had come far too close to losing all that. So, for a long time Taichi had wandered around the edge of hatred for the boy, but he had kept his mouth shut not wanting to totally isolate someone worthy enough for a digivice and obviously someone riddled with numerous problems of his own but even then the stories Agumon told him from long ago weighed upon the warrior of Courage's mind.

Then one day Ken had shown up at the end of soccer practice. That wasn't so unusual as Daisuke was on the team as well and Ken often met the cheerful boy so they could walk to the digital gate together. On that day it was different, however, because Ken bypassed Daisuke completely as the young red head cheerily ran towards the locker rooms and headed straight for Taichi. Not knowing what to do the brunette stood awkwardly until the digidestined of kindness finally reached him.

"I'm sorry." Ken's words were feeble, weighed down by the emotion drowning his vocal chords, but the boy stood straighter than necessary Leafmon under one arm and the other pressed tightly to his side.

Taichi knew what the boy was talking about instantly. He recognized what he saw in Ken's eyes because he had felt the same way for a long long time. Something bad had happened in the digital world. Taichi had heard Hikari speaking in hushed tones about it to Takeru a few days ago. The former leader didn't know exactly what had happened, but Daisuke and Ken were obviously keeping their digimon closer to them than ever, even allowing their small friends to hide in desks and backpacks during class. Ken had felt his bond waver with his digimon and through that the warrior of kindness had realized exactly how much digital partners meant to each other.

Long ago, when Taichi was more rash and less understanding of their dire situation in the Digital World, the warrior of courage had felt that bond waver and thin. Trying desperately to make Greymon digivolve to Ultimate, so convinced that he himself had to protect the entire group, had transformed his dear friend into SkullGreymon and in all his years of being the leader of the digidestined Taichi still felt he had not made it up to his partner.

Agumon had explained to him once what it was like, the loss of control, the pain, the all consuming urge to destroy like a wild fire that couldn't be extinguished in his soul. However, what the digimon had feared most of all though was the moment when he could no longer feel the bond with his digital partner, the friend he had been made for and had sworn to protect. Even years afterward Agumon always insisted being as close to Taichi as possible. After the SkullGreymon incident he had done so by staying in Taichi's arms as Koromon, but later Agumon was never far from the boy, choosing more often than not to walk directly beside Taichi, always a little too close, but not so much the brunette would comment on it. Taichi understood his partner's need for comfort because he needed it too. Their bond had been damaged, but their closeness had mended it back stronger than before. Within that darkness neither had been able to feel each other and it was like their other half had disappeared, ripped violently away.

Had Ken felt that anguish as deeply as himself and Agumon, Taichi wondered? Did the dark haired genius no longer harbor any secret beliefs as to the true existence of Digimon? When Leafmon had been deleted, did Ken feel that emptiness in his soul even though he had lost his memories at first?

Obviously he had or the boy wouldn't be standing in front of Taichi ready to take judgment even though he expected the worst from the former leader of the digidestined. So Taichi watched the boy, his eyes slowly looking Ken over taking in his fine features and his eyes which were chiseled with resolve but simultaneously floating in sadness. Ken was sorry? Agumon's voice inside him laughed. He could feel his digimon's delight though his partner certainly couldn't know what was going on. The orange dinosaur stalwart and joyous held no grudge against this boy so Taichi did what he had been forced to do many times before. When the black gears had taken over digimon and made them attack the digidestined, when it was revealed that Gatomon was the digital partner of the 8th child, and when Yamato had abandoned the group to face the Dark Masters while the warrior of friendship dealt with the chaos within himself only one option had been available when the fighting stopped and the wounds were treated. Forgive.

"For what?" Ken sucked in a breath obviously thinking Taichi would enjoy torturing him rather than accepting his apology.

"I did something horrible to you and your digimon. I almost severed your bond and used him to attack you without thinking of the ramifications of my actions. I am truly sorry and would completely understand if you would like for me to stay away from the rest of the digidestined." Taichi held back a smile.

"And if I asked you to leave the Digital World behind? Everything about it including your friends and your digimon; would you do that?" Ken's free arm instantly went up to block Leafmon from view while his other clutched the baby digimon closer to his body. The boy's eyes were instantly filled with something else. There was fear, feral anger, and desperation, but Ken's eyes were absent of defeat. It was what Taichi wanted to see.

"Then I would refuse. My friends choose their own path. They may decide what they will, but I will never separate from my partner. Something would have to kill me first." The boy glared then but was put off track when suddenly Taichi's lips bloomed into a wide smile.

"That's good then. It means you understand." Ken tilted his head in confusion. Taichi could hear Daisuke calling to them now having just emerged from the locker rooms.

"What?"

"I don't know what happened to you and Daisuke in the digital world, but Agumon and I are made of tougher stuff than you think. You must believe that my bond with my partner has been tested many times. We know the dangers of the digital world and what you are feeling about your partner is something I've felt long before now. I know that if I were ever to lose Agumon then I would lose myself and be unable to handle living anymore. By keeping him at your side you refuse to lose that bond. It is what I want to see from all of the digidestined. If you were so quick to throw your digimon away like you were when you were the Digimon Emperor then you would have no place on the team and certainly no place as my friend. Besides, Agumon doesn't hold a grudge and you did those things to _him_ , so why should I hold it against you any more. You've changed, everyone sees that. Now, go spend time with Leafmon. Your bond will be stronger from the trials you've faced and he'll want to be near you." With that Taichi walked forward and patted the dumbfounded warrior of kindness on the shoulder before walking towards the boys' locker room waving at Daisuke on the way.

Taichi understood the loss of a digital partner. Taichi understood the loss of a purpose. Taichi understood the power of friendship. Taichi understood Ken.

So with every step he took toward the locker room Taichi understood what a blessing it was to feel the warmth in the corner of his soul that connected with Agumon and Taichi rejoiced in that unyielding and ever faithful light.


	12. Guardian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Hikari

Yagami Taichi loved his sister more than words could ever convey. From the moment Yagami Hikari had been born, or at least his father told him, Taichi had been utterly spell bound by his younger sibling's eyes, her soft brown curls, her small chubby hands, and the delighted smile that would bloom on her face as she tugged lightly at locks of his own, even then, wild mane of hair.

There were other much darker reasons that Taichi was so protective of Hikari, but the most important and largest was the love he had always carried for her. The first time Taichi had returned to the real world after defeating Etemon the warrior of courage had been glad to see his sister feeling better after a horrible cold had kept her from soccer camp. He had for the most part ignored Hikari's familiarity with Koromon, though the brunette thought it a bit strange at the time. Even then, surrounded by the comforts of home and all the conveniences he had come to be properly thankful of, the only thing that could have possibly kept Taichi from returning to the rest of the chosen children in the digital world was his sister and her pleading brown eyes.

"Don't leave me Taichi!" Hikari's hand was reaching towards his, palm poised upward fingers splayed in an effort to keep hold. That time wasn't when Hikari was meant to enter the Digital World and as far as Taichi was concerned, his little sister was safer at home where no Kuwagomon, Etemon, or any black gears could threaten her. Her voice, struck with anguish and fading as his body disappeared once more from his home town, still shot through his heart and reached his soul. Taichi would dream of her words during those quiet, empty nights in the Digital World along with the feel of her hands grasping desperately at the tips of his fingers until they were once more reunited in the real world.

When Hikari finally joined the rest of the digidestined, Taichi was never ashamed to admit he was overprotective of his sister. Walking through forests, deserts, and mountains the warrior of courage would mostly ignore the whining of the rest of the group, but if Hikari ever showed signs of tiring Taichi would call them to rest as fast as possible. Taichi spoiled his sister. He knew it, the chosen children knew it, and Hikari knew it, but that was his prerogative as older brother.

Even then Hikari had been frail, her body resisting the exertion that the Digital World necessitated, but the warrior of light trudged on proving herself one battle after another, taking every challenge calmly and head on. Taichi was proud of his sister. She was more mature than most of the digidestined and understood the nuances of his leadership, but that didn't stop him from constantly worrying to the point he took his emotions out on his friends. (Taichi still felt he hadn't done enough to apologize to Koushirou for punching him.)

Now Hikari was grown up. Her childlike features matured into graceful curves and lines, her eyes holding wisdom of things that had once happened and things that were soon to come. Hikari was no longer the little girl content to bask in the attentions of her loving older brother, but a blossoming teenager ready to have adventures of her own. Certainly when the digital gates had reopened Taichi had felt immensely sorry for himself, but the warrior of courage was full of conflicting emotions brought on by the implications of his beloved younger sibling's place as a second generation digidestined. Hikari was ready for the challenge, he knew that in his heart, but his mind would not let go of her voice screaming up at him desperately so long ago nor the feel or her small fingers against his. As her older brother it was Taichi's place to protect Hikari. It was his job to love her unconditionally and to guard her from all the evils that tried to befall the warrior of light, quarreling love interests and dark oceans alike.

Then Hikari had almost been taken by the darkness and Taichi no longer knew where he stood. He had laid there at night in their shared bedroom, listening to his sister awake gasping air, throwing the covers away from herself only to realize that her tormentor was not a thing of the physical world. At that time Taichi had been helpless. Nothing he could have said would have kept Hikari from the shore of the black, evil world that was the dark ocean and though he tried to help his sister, it was Takeru who had stepped in successfully as Hikari's savior.

So where did that leave Taichi? If he couldn't protect his own sister then what use was he to Hikari? How could he protect the rest of the digidestined if he couldn't guard one lone person? What use was he to his team if he couldn't be leader nor guardian? If this position was stripped from him would there be anything left?

Hikari definitely noticed the growing restlessness within her brother, the scary insight she had into the minds of all her fellow digidestined strengthened with her age, and she had tried to talk to Taichi, but the warrior of courage couldn't bring himself to listen to her placating words. Since soccer camp all those years ago Taichi had always been able to define himself by what he was. He was a talented soccer player, a friend, the carrier of the Crest of Courage, the leader of the Chosen Children, and the guardian of his comrades. What was he now that his crest and his mantle of leadership had been passed on? What was Taichi now that his friends were building lives of their own separate from him? What was he now when his job of protecting his sister and his team now fell to the younger members of the digidestined? He was a soccer player, but that wasn't something Taichi was pursuing professionally. When that too was stripped away would he be nothing more than a name?

Despite Hikari's reassurance Taichi felt a growing despair enveloping his heart. He loved his friends more than anything in the world. He loved his sister more than any other person in a way that he couldn't love anyone else. Taichi would not allow his problems to become hers no matter how willing she was to help him.

So Taichi took to avoiding them all. During school Taichi would sit farther away from his friends. When lunch period started the warrior of courage would disappear, his location unknown to the rest of the digidestined that frantically searched for him. While he was still winning soccer games, the moves Taichi made were mechanical to the point even Daisuke became curious and when the cheers would rise from the bleachers at the end of each match Taichi would run swiftly from the field avoiding any confrontation with his worried friends. Hikari and Koushirou were almost desperate to get his attention. What Taichi was doing was irrational they said. If he was having a problem then they were available to help. The other Chosen Children put in their pleas as well.

But Taichi couldn't bring himself to approach his friends. All the decisions he had made, all the feelings he had felt, all the emptiness and the pain that burrowed it's way through his soul had finally come spilling forth and the warrior of courage could no longer deny it. Taichi didn't know who he was. For all the bravado and the courage and all the leadership that had kept him going in the past the Taichi of today had nothing to encourage him that didn't feel empty and fake. While all of his friends seemed to flourish after their adventures in the Digital World, Taichi's own growth had mutated him into someone who he believed was ugly, wholly mutated to a person who was broken and not functional. What he was now was a charade of what he had once been. How could he show his face to the world now?

Despite his shame, Taichi still remained a digidestined. Hikari had informed him of such one day when she had finally cornered him in their room. With steal in her eyes the warrior of light demanded to know what was wrong and when Taichi was less than forthcoming her body seemed to melt, shrinking before his eyes. Hikari's arms went up in a motion to hug him, but she wrapped them around herself instead. She seemed more like the little girl he used to protect in those few seconds than she had in the last few years and instinctively Taichi stepped closer to his younger sister and swept her into his arms. With a small sigh Hikari rested her forehead against Taichi's chest and took a few calming breaths.

"Taichi, Don't leave me." Taichi's arms tightened around his sister. Her voice was a different type of desperation than that time so long ago and her words sank into his skin targeting all the places that would hurt the most. Was that what he was doing to her? Had Taichi moved from being the protector to the tormentor? Looking down at the top of his sister's head the warrior of courage almost wept. Harming Hikari was the last thing he ever wanted to do and trying to keep his problems from becoming hers had only the opposite effect.

"I'm not leaving you Hikari." Taichi's sister scoffed.

"You call avoiding everyone, making us all confused and worried without even a hint as to why 'not leaving'?" Hikari brought her head up then, the hardness in her eyes shifting like fire, the anger sparking like it never had before. "Taichi, we are your friends. I am your _sister_. Whatever is wrong with you _please_ tell us so we can help fix it together." The pitch of her voice was heightened. Years of observing his younger sister told him that she was at her limit and at anytime she would start to cry, but still Taichi unwound his arms and took a step back. Every inch of him, towering over her, was pulled taught and there was a sorrowful glint in Taichi's eyes as he looked away.

"This is something I will deal with myself." Then, despite her voice yelling for him to wait, despite her hands reaching out to him like they had that day and every lonely night that followed haunting his dreams, Taichi walked out of their bedroom and their family apartment.

Yagami Taichi loved his sister more than words could ever convey and from the moment she had been born he had never been so disgusted with himself. He was the most useless older brother in the world.


	13. Ebony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taichi and Koushirou

Yagami Taichi loved Izumi Koushirou's eyes. It hadn't always been that way. When the two were younger Taichi had thought those eyes, blacker than ebony and deeper than any ocean, were overwhelmingly creepy. It wasn't until after those first few death defying adventures in the Digital World that Taichi changed his opinion. Before Koushirou's speech and mannerisms had thrown the normally extroverted leader of the digidestined for a major loop. The soon to be warrior of knowledge was almost like a robot. Koushirou's words were long and drawn out over multiple syllables. His personality was abrupt and to the point. For a while it had seemed that nothing but computer data could interest the young red head.

Towards the middle of their journey something seemed to shift and Taichi began to notice his genius friend more and more. Those eyes that had always bothered Taichi on multiple levels began to light up with curiosity and happiness. Koushirou was becoming part of the group as a person rather than a digivice. Then Datamon had captured Sora and Koushirou had explained to the group the real dangers of the Digital World and though Taichi was caught up at the time with rescuing his friend without dieing in the process he couldn't help but admire the warrior of knowledge's ability to look at things on a deeper level than the rest of the group. So Taichi's feelings for Koushirou transformed from slightly off-putting acquaintance to the utmost respect of a dear friend. Koushirou saved his life on a daily basis and he pointed out the possible flaws in Taichi's plans without belittling the leader. The warrior of courage couldn't say that about any of the other digidestined, especially Yamato and Sora.

Then Taichi had been transported home in some crazy space vortex after Greymon successfully digivolved to Metal Greymon and defeated Etemon. While he had never admitted it to anyone Taichi had felt fear for his friend pierce deeper into his heart than anything ever had when Koushirou's face had appeared on his computer screen warning him against returning to the Digital World. While Taichi was safe in the real world, his friends were in danger in the digiworld and despite how hard he had always been trying to get home, Taichi knew he could stay there no longer no matter how much Hikari's desperate pleas broke his heart.

And through their journeys Taichi's respect for Koushirou grew and grew. His friend was a genius, yes, but he was also so much more. Koushirou loved his friends and used his talents to keep them safe even if Mimi did get somewhat annoyed whenever he ignored her. When the group had returned to the Digital World for a second time Koushirou had tried his best to keep Hikari safe as per Taichi's wishes. So Taichi's feelings transformed from respectful ally to deep friendship. It was a relationship that the warrior of courage had instinctively felt was different than the relationships he had with the rest of the digidestined.

When Hikari, Takeru, and the rest of the second generation digidestined began their adventures in the Digital World, Taichi knew that Koushirou's role as their mentor was far more involved than any of the rest of the original chosen children. If Taichi was ever worried about his sister he could simply ask Koushirou to give him an update. The boy would look at Taichi with his deep black eyes full of understanding and explain the situation gently.

Then the dynamics of the group began to change. Instead of going to hang out with his soccer buddies or bug Yamato, Taichi would stay with Koushirou. Often times they would hang out in the computer lab of the school, but more often the two would travel to Koushirou's apartment. Taichi would sprawl himself out on Koushirou's small mattress while the genius would place his laptop on the desk to the side and begin to type quickly into it.

The two didn't always talk. Sometimes Taichi would just lay there going over the day in his head. Sometimes he would bring a book to read even though the rest of the digidestined gave him incredulous looks when he and Koushirou began to talk offhandedly about one of them while at a digidestined meeting. Mostly though Taichi would allow the soft clicks of the computer keys to lull him to sleep until Koushirou woke him up later in the evening to go home. Groggily the leader of the chosen children would gaze into those ebony eyes that he used to fear so much, but all that had changed. Now, just as their bodies and their spirits had grown, so too had their feelings and Taichi knew the delight in Koushirou's eyes was a reflection of what could be seen in his own muddy irises. So the relationship between the two changed from deep friendship to an even deeper understanding in which lazy afternoons in each others presence said more than words ever could.

Then MaloMyotismon had been defeated and everything within Taichi began to break. Sora and Yamato announced they were dating and while he was happy for his friends, Taichi couldn't help but feel the overwhelmingly sadness envelope him with the lost chances of his unrequited feelings for the warrior of love. The new digidestined as well as the original began to move on with their lives and dreams of colleges and careers entered lazy conversations. Then the chosen children each began to pair off. Jyou and Mimi, Hikari and Takeru, Yamato and Sora. Taichi looked at himself then as undesirable even if Koushirou denied that vehemently.

All the while the warrior of knowledge stood beside him until Taichi could no longer deny what had captured his heart. So rooted in the past the warrior courage could do nothing to acknowledge his own feelings even if they tore him apart from the inside. Taichi was being left behind by his friends. His place as leader of the chosen children had been stripped from him by his own choice, but he still craved those afternoons. There was no denying that Koushirou was his best friend because the boy with those haunting ebony eyes understood him better than anyone ever had or ever would. So their relationship transformed yet again, but this time Taichi wouldn't allow himself the luxury of partaking in the change.

Yagami Taichi loved Izumi Koushirou, but under no circumstances could he fall _in_ love with his best friend. Even if those eyes now made tingles travel up his spine. Even if the warrior of knowledge would most likely accept romantic advances from his friend, Taichi could not allow himself that pleasure. The once leader knew without any doubt that he was broken beyond what any repairs could fix. His heart was melted and his soul was shattered. The life he led was barely worth mentioning save the people he knew and cherished. His thoughts were centered and trapped somewhere in the past where they could always struggle for the light of freedom, but never find the way to escape. Koushirou looked at him in concern and pleaded with him to talk, but Taichi would always change the subject and life would go on never any more interesting than the day before it.

Those eyes watched him more now. They followed the strides of his body when they passed in the hall. They watched the way lithe muscles expanded and contracted during a soccer games and the way the smiles that formed on Taichi's lips didn't seem to reach anything anymore. More than once Taichi had awoken from a small doze on Koushirou's bed only to stare vacantly into confused black irises. Taichi was Koushirou's newest puzzle and Koushirou always solved puzzles.

It was one of those times that Koushirou finally decided to speak up. Taichi, laying there on the genius' bed with Koushirou leaning partially over him knew there was no escape. Whatever he said in this moment would condemn him.

Sleep still in his voice Taichi could only murmur his friend's name. Those eyes were already doing sinister things to the brunette's body, filled with determination as they were, Taichi could not ignore the spark of lust that flickered alive within his stomach. "Kou?"

"Taichi, we need to talk." Taichi winced. There was never a time when those words were wonderful to hear.

"We talk all the time." The goofy smile that stretched his face was fake and there was no way Koushirou didn't know that.

"You will not use masks with me Yagami Taichi." Koushirou's frown was severe as he leaned closer. Taichi wished the boy would stop, unsure if he could withhold himself for much longer. "You will explain to me what is wrong."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Taichi attempted to get up but Koushirou was faster and stronger than the warrior of courage had anticipated because quicker than he could react the redhead had pushed Taichi further onto the bed pinning tanned arms against the headboard and settling himself straddled upon Taichi's lap. All kinds of warning bells began shrieking in the brunette's head.

"W-wha! Koushirou! What are you doing?" Taichi's voice was much higher than normal and his breathing came out in thick puffs of air. The nervous sweat that broke out over his body was the only thing that kept him from focusing on the lower part of their anatomies that were touching in a more than intimate way. Koushirou was not to be deterred as his eyes bore straight into Taichi's muddy shocked irises.

"Something has been bothering you for a while now. I thought it was Sora confessing to Yamato at first so I let it go, but you've been over her for a long time. You've been fighting with Hikari, you've been avoiding me, and you never smile like you mean it anymore. That is not the Taichi that I know." Koushirou's voice lowered and he leaned his face closer to Taichi's with a determined scowl. "I've given you an adequate amount of time to work on this yourself, but you have failed to do so and the only thing that's ever gotten through your head when you are like this is brute force so pardon me for tackling you, but I am fed up with you Taichi."

Taichi sucked in a breath, all thoughts of the closeness between the two forcibly shoved to the back of his mind. "There's nothing wrong with me Koushirou, honestly." Taichi's voice wavered as he broke eye contact with his best friend searching for anything that might help him out of this situation, but Koushirou's room was just as normal as it had always been. There would be no miraculous salvation in this situation like there had been in the past, no du ex machina to come a erase all the problems in his heart.

Koushirou growled, hissing through clenched teeth, his eyes ebony fire boring into some place on Taichi's forehead. "You would speak of honesty when it's more than obvious you are lying? Taichi you will tell me what is wrong." Koushirou's grip on Taichi's wrists tightened and the brunette fought off a wince as his hands knocked forcefully into the headboard.

Suddenly it was like something had taken away all of Taichi's energy. His body slumped towards the mattress and though Koushirou still had him firmly pinned, the boy genius would not need to prevent Taichi's escape anymore. Brown locks fell in front of Taichi's eyes, shadowing his face and the boy merely laid there before looking up towards his friend in sorrow and desperation. Koushirou sighed instinctively knowing that his friend would fight no longer, but he did not relinquish his spot.

"There's something wrong with me." Taichi's voice sounded shattered and smothered at the same time, like the words had given the brunette his first gulp of air after days and days of drowning. Koushirou gazed into his friend's dirty eyes. There weren't any tears, with Taichi there rarely were, only the deepest flickers of anguish, like something was dieing within his friend. It broke Koushirou's heart to look upon Taichi's sorrowful expression. Softly, so as not to startle the brunette Koushirou leaned even closer resting head upon Taichi's chest, listening to the quick thumps of his friend's heart. The position was awkward as he had to arch his back to maneuver it, but the warrior of knowledge didn't really care. This is what Taichi needed right now, even if brunette himself didn't actually realize it.

"Then tell me so I can fix it."

So Taichi did. He told Koushirou about all the thoughts that had been growing in his head since the very beginning of their stay in the Digital World. How the brunette always felt defined by what he was rather than who he was. Taichi told Koushirou about the feeling of loss when they could no longer see their digimon and what it had felt like to watch the new digidestined disappear through the digital gates time and time again knowing he had given up his position of leader and was therefore useless to their cause. Taichi told Koushirou about how he saw his friends moving on while all he could think about was the past and how that scared him more than anything because that meant he was moving further and further away from the people he considered closer than family.

And Koushirou listened calmly moving his hands from their clenching grasp on Taichi's wrist to intertwine his fingers with his friends' long slim digits. He listened as each sentence was forced from Taichi's lips bringing with it the wrenching gasps of tears that the warrior of courage so rarely let fall and when his friend was through Koushirou rose up to look his leader in the eyes and smiled a soft comforting smile.

"There isn't anything wrong with you Taichi. You are merely a little lost on your path." The tears still fell down Taichi's face, but the brunette couldn't help but smile up into those ebony eyes. "Taichi, I'll help you find your way." Koushirou's voice was the sincerest it had ever been, free of what Taichi called Kou speak, free of puzzles, but full of solutions.

"Koushirou?" The redhead cocked his head to the side, staring down at Taichi curiously.

"Yes?" Taichi swallowed hard suddenly aware once more of their position which had become even more intimate. They were still pressed together at their groins as Koushirou was still straddling Taichi, but now, with the fingers tangled together and their bodies connecting at every point except their heads the warrior of courage couldn't help the flush that spread upon his cheeks and though Koushirou was also well aware of their position neither decided moving away from each other was the best solution. Besides, Taichi still had one more thing to tell his friend.

"Koushirou I love you."

Taichi had never gone through this moment in his mind. He had never contemplated confessing because he had never thought he would act on his feelings for his best friend, so he couldn't say he was surprised by the redhead's reaction.

"Good." With that Koushirou brought his head lower and kissed Taichi deeply. The warrior of courage couldn't help but gasp at the sudden movement which allowed Koushirou to slip his wet tongue through Taichi's lips. With a pleasured groan Taichi arched his body upward into his friend pressing the two of them even closer together.

Then it was over. Koushirou was leaning back again and while Taichi desperately wished to follow those lips he knew this wasn't the time to do so. The now smirking redhead had a mischievous glint in his eyes like he always did when he had just completed a fairly difficult computer program. "Taichi?"

"Huh?" It was the most intelligent thing Taichi could manage after Koushirou, the boy he'd been in love with for a few years had just shoved his tongue in the brunette's mouth.

"I love you too." With a happy sigh and a breathy laugh Taichi crushed Koushirou's body back against his own before flipping the two so he was on top.

He knew far more than anyone else that the problems had not been all solved. Taichi still didn't know who he was. He still felt the widening gap between he and his friends, but right now wasn't the time for sadness. Right now was the time to get to second base with his best friend.

Later that night though, after a few hot hours of making out with the warrior of knowledge and then returning to his own apartment, Taichi thought about Koushirou's words and took them to heart. Leaning back against the pillows on his bed and resting his wild main of hair on his arms Taichi could only wonder what the future would bring.


	14. Aftermath

The battlefield was silent save the crackling flames surrounding the area. The chosen children all stood numbly staring at the place their friend had once stood each gasping desperate breathes as if the air had been sucked away from their lungs.

Gone. Yagami Taichi was _gone_.

It didn't seem possible, but they had each seen it, the brown haired warrior of courage's determined stride with his back resolutely straight as he walked closer to the enemy they couldn't defeat, that they hadn't even been able to touch. Taichi had a plan. He always had a plan and they always worked. It was law in the chaos of the Digital World because Taichi himself was a different brand of chaos all together. Each child had faith that whatever the brunette was planning, everything would turn out okay in the end.

Now they were all thinking horrible things because there was no way that losing Taichi could ever be okay. This one plan was a failure. They were saved, he was _gone_. It wasn't right. It couldn't be possible. Were their hearts to be shattered along with Taichi's crest, his body evaporating into the air?

And so they left. One by one each chosen child straggled off by themselves, blinking dumbly, others stood staring at the sky before abruptly running off to the nearest digital gate. Only Hikari was accompanied, having fallen to her knees crying hysterically before she too was ushered away by Takeru.

They left the battlefield neglecting the mess the fight had created, large scorched craters and overturned mountains gouged into the pixelated ground. They left until only Koushirou, the digimon, and Gennai were remaining. The warrior of knowledge's screams were dead, his throat ripped to pieces from sudden, dramatic use. His hands were pressed tightly to his sides, limp but his fingers seemed to spasm every now and then subconsciously trying to reach the lights that had been Taichi's body before they too faded away. Ebony eyes stared out at the spot where his friend once stood.

He should have known. He should have _known._ Those were the only thoughts that could make it through the boy's head

And then Koushirou left and only Gennai with the digimon remained staring sadly at the devastation before them. Sighing the mentor turned from the field, heedless of the shifting of the ground as an indication that the Digital World was already repairing itself.

_Gone._

With one last look the man and the digimon left the scene as well Gennai's words floating upon the damaged wind. "What an interesting development."

Behind him the air shimmered in agreement.


	15. Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mimi's Aftermath

A crash resonated throughout the room. Mimi Tachikawa was upset. No, she was more than upset and the tears streaming down her cheeks proved her feelings to the world. For the first time in her life the shades of pink surrounding her didn't bring her some measure of comfort nor a sense of familiarity. All her favorite color did was remind her of him.

Brown hair messily cradled a thin face, lips drawn upward in a carefree smirk, and large roughened goggles that defied all the rules of fashion perched defiantly atop his head; those were the things that Mimi always pictured when she remembered Yagami Taichi. He was her leader. He was the person who gave her confidence when she was a frightened girl whisked away to a world completely opposite of her own. He was the one who was always constant, never changing when the lives of the digidestined became more and more complicated with age. Taichi never faltered when it was important, not after Datamon at least, and she had always been able to count of his presence if ever she began to feel alone.

When Mimi moved to New York, Taichi had kept in close contact with her. He did so with letters which the warrior of sincerity thought was odd in a digital age, but it was so very Taichi. It was true that her other friends occasionally contacted her, Jyou most of all, but Taichi's letters were like clockwork informing her about the lives of the friends she had left behind. Taichi told of forming relationships, school events, recent battles he'd heard about from the younger digidestined and went out of his way to make Mimi feel she was still part of the team even when they were hundreds of miles apart.

Of course Mimi had been confused when the first letter showed up. Taichi never seemed so interested in school, especially anything that required pulling words together to form a sentence and at first the blonde girl had just assumed her friend would tire of the brief thrill after a couple of letters, but Taichi's communication continued and she was very grateful. Then she returned to Japan. It was all very abrupt. One day she was opening one Taichi's letters with excitement and the next day she was watching Jyou fawn over her in class and even though it was Taichi who had made the effort to keep in contact while she was away Mimi never seemed to return the favor.

It wasn't like she had planned it. Mimi would never intentionally abandon her friend. She loved Taichi, not in a romantic sense, but in a brotherly way and her feelings would never ever diminish, but it was so easy to slip back into routine. In the day go to school, at night do homework, on the weekends go to the mall and even though Mimi had traveled light years, from the ditzy, weak girl that had fallen into the digital world all those years ago, she was by no means the smartest or the most intuitive girl on the planet. Taichi didn't seem to mind anyway, so the warrior of sincerity just let things be trusting routine to bring things back to the way they were before she left for America.

But she was wrong. Mimi was so wrong she almost couldn't bear to think about it.

Taichi's letters had always been so thoughtful. He had always taken the time to explain everything in detail so she wouldn't be left behind, but it was that detail that clued her in. When Taichi began to ignore the group Mimi grew concerned with his cold demeanor because it just wasn't Taichi. When the warrior of courage started fighting with Hikari, Mimi was shocked because her leader had never so much as raised his voice to his sibling. When the brunette started to avoid Koushirou's eyes Mimi began to think that nobody ever really knew Taichi at all. Was it possible that while she and her friends went on with their lives they were unconsciously leaving their leader behind?

And now Taichi was gone, dissolved into sparkling lights traveling the wind currents in the digital world. Mimi couldn't help but think his resting place was fitting. Taichi never seemed as alive as he did whilst traipsing up mountains and through the deserts of that foreign world, but oh it hurt. It hurt so much to realize that after all Taichi had done for her throughout the years she had done very little in return. It was laughable how much she forsook her crest. Sincerity? Hah! Sincerity wasn't abandoning your friends when they needed you the most. Sincerity wasn't watching your friend walk to his death without once trying to stop him. Mimi wished she was dead in Taichi's place. She wished her body had burned and evaporated into the air. She wished it was her cries of agony that ripped through the sounds of battle. She wished Taichi was still alive. It was a selfish wish, because she knew Taichi wouldn't have allowed anyone on their team to do what he did, but Mimi just wanted the pain to vanish.

"Why do you love pink so much?" That's what Taichi had asked her all those years ago. Mimi, staring at the bright cheerful bedroom before her, screamed in anguish. What had she said at the time? Pink was like a tangible object to her childish hands. Pink reminded her of home and her parents when she was a weakling stuck in the digital world wondering if she would even live through the next day. Taichi had understood. He caressed his goggles wistfully and was buried under her stuffed animals while she giggled like a little girl.

Taichi had always understood and now he was dead.

Her screams had scared her parents, they were beating on her door even now. The sobs forced themselves from her lips, tears dropping onto her tongue as she fiercely shook her newly blonde locks from side to side. Pink? What good had pink ever done her. Right now that happy color was making her sick. So, the stuffed animals went first as she threw them viciously off the bed and then her bunny alarm clock smashed into the mirror. Then her desk met the floor and the pink polka dotted sheets became familiar with the trash can and then there was silence except for the worried shouts of her parents muffled through her bedroom door and the great gasps of air Mimi brought into her lungs.

Why was he gone? Why had she left him even when he was alive?

Sucking in a deep breath Mimi staggered up. The warrior of sincerity quietly told her parents she was fine and then fished a piece of paper and a pencil from the ruin that was her pink accented desk. Not bothering with a chair, Mimi once again hit the floor sinking back to lean against her mattress. Mimi stared at the clean sheet of paper for a moment and then began to write.

'Dear Taichi.'

Mimi wrote. She wrote all the things to Taichi that she should have said to him when she moved back from America. Mimi wrote all the things that she would never get to say to him and when she was finished the pain wasn't as sharp when it ran through her heart.

At least, that's what Mimi told herself.


	16. Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takeru's Aftermath

Takaishi Takeru had never exactly had the easiest of lives. His parents' divorce had happened when he was far too young to comprehend why exactly he couldn't see his brother or father anymore and his mother, while very loving, was a stricter parent than most. When he was finally able to spend an uninterrupted time with his brother Yamato at summer camp the two of them had been thrown into the Digital World. The unchartered place was far more than any toddler or young adult from the cities of Japan could handle, but somehow all of the Chosen Children had managed to stay alive by relying on each other and their digital partners. Even after the Digital World was finally deemed safe thanks to the effort of the first batch of digidestined, Takeru was once again thrown into battle and though he was much more equipped to handle the life or death situations than the new generation of warriors, Takeru was nowhere near prepared for the dangers they had faced.

The truth was that Takeru had been adapting to one catastrophe after another since he was a child. He should have been able to adapt to this one too, but standing there in his father's living room, his t-shirt still damp from his girlfriend's tears and his hands still clenched around his old tattered bucket hat Takeru felt that this catastrophe might be the one that finally broke him.

Yagami Taichi was dead. Their leader, friend, brother, and lover was dead is the worst way possible, sacrificing himself for the people who would rather die themselves than see one hair on that wild mane damaged. How were they, the Chosen Children, supposed to move forward from this? Taichi was what held them together in the first place. When MetalGreymon and dealt the final blow to Etemon all those years ago Taichi came back for them. The team had all gone their separate ways and only Taichi had been able to bring them back together. When they were all young and new to that dangerous world, Taichi had been unanimously named the leader of the group because only he could face the danger with the right combination of fearful and fearlessness to help the digidestined survive. The warrior of courage even kept the Chosen Children together now. Taichi wrote to Mimi when she was overseas, he trained Daisuke and Ken in soccer, visited Sora during her part time hours at her mother's flower shop. Yamato talked more of lazy afternoons playing the harmonica for his best friend than the increasingly popular venues his band was playing at and Jyou's voice was always a mixture of pride and frustration when he talked about the amount of times he had to patch their leader up after a rougher than normal game of soccer. Cody spoke often about Taichi's volume levels when he was cheering at a kendo match and Miyako griped about the brunette chatting her up at her family's convenience store that was located in the opposite direction of his own apartment. All the digidestined were just waiting for Taichi and Koushirou to start dating and Hikari would frequently cancel dates with Takeru to hang out with her older brother instead. It was no secret that Taichi was a type of glue that bonded the Chosen Children together far stronger than even their shared experiences in the Digital World could manage.

Takeru knew more than anything that in this moment, if nothing was done, then the digidestined would drift apart forever. That was not an option for the team or the world.

With a cry Takeru flung the hat in his hands across the room. It landed with a hard thud against Yamato's bedroom door, but Takeru doubted his brother would respond. After all, the warrior of friendship hadn't responded to Takeru's pleas for the entire two hours he'd spent pounding on the bedroom door.

Standing in the middle of the room, Takeru's hands, no longer occupied, began to tremble and he could no longer hold the weight of Taichi's death aloft. Takeru's new place in the digidestined was something he had worked long and hard for. Takeru was no longer that little boy clinging to his brother's leg or grasping Taichi's fingertips in fear. He was the Chosen Child of Hope and right now his friends needed hope the most, but how could he fulfill that need when he couldn't even find enough hope to keep himself going?

Takeru flung himself down on a nearby couch its cushions sinking at the force of the sudden weight. Covering his face with shaking hands Takeru knew he had to fix himself before he could even think about helping his friends.

Taichi's death meant more to Takeru than the death of a leader. Taichi had kept him safe all those times that Yamato had disappeared in the Digital World. The boy had held his hand when he cried and even when Hikari joined the group Taichi still protected Takeru with the ferocity that Yamato himself would have. Taichi's courage had always given Takeru his hope. When the brunette would show up Takeru knew that the warrior of courage would solve all their problems and defeat all of their enemies with a cocky grin on his face.

Sitting in his father's living room, Takeru's life finally came crashing down. His parent's divorce, his brother's harmful efforts to protect him, his place in the chosen children, his duty as a crest bearer all shattered around his head in half images, glimpses of the life that created the present he was living now. Taichi's face and the faces of his family and friends all smiled, laughed, cried, and screamed out at him and for the first time in his life Takeru wept for lost hope.

He wept for all the years Taichi would miss. He wept for all the fake smiles the Chosen Children would smile. Takeru wept for all the memories the group had made and all the memories they would make now without the wild haired warrior of courage. Takeru wept because only after he mourned could hope be born anew. He would not let Taichi's death break the bonds of the Chosen Children.

Takeru wept for Taichi.


	17. Leadership

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daisuke's Aftermath

Staring at the soccer ball in his hands Daisuke sat limply on his bed. His body was sagged and though his sister's voice yelling at him through the door was laced with concern the young leader couldn't bring himself to stand and let her in the room. Daisuke had always been the perpetually cheerful member of the digidestined. He prided himself on his lack of pretenses and though his friends made fun of his zero tact, Daisuke thought it was okay that everyone saw what he was on the outside was the same as who he was on the inside.

That attitude wasn't always true. Daisuke's childhood had been a happy one, but he too faced the insecurities that teens run into on the road to adulthood. Before he entered high school the brunette hadn't been shy, but he hadn't been forthcoming with his true personality preferring the role of class clown. If Daisuke wasn't himself around others then there was no chance of someone hating him for being HIM. That had changed though that first day in high school when he had enthusiastically tried out for the school soccer team. Then he hadn't known anything about Digimon or Digital Worlds. He hadn't known about Digieggs or chosen children. Daisuke merely immersed himself in the sport that seemed so much like life full of excitement and the brush of family.

It was then he met Taichi Yagami. The older boy was like a storm tearing through the field and the players, his skin glistening in the sunlight and his brown hair buoyed by the wind. Taichi was unlike any person he had ever seen. Being near the older teen was like being within the eye of a hurricane where at any minute one could be swept of his feet into uncertainty or lured into the shelter of his brilliant eyes. Almost instantly Taichi became Daisuke's hero, basically worshipping the ground the goggle headed boy stomped his ratty cleats upon.

With a growl Daisuke threw the soccer ball away from himself watching as it hit the wall across the room before bouncing feebly along the floor. What good was a hero if he died so easily? What good was the sun if the moon enveloped its rays? What good was a storm, so fresh and exciting, if it ripped through the landscape leaving nothing but desolation behind? Taichi was a storm. He flashed his smiles like bright streaks of lightening across the sky. His laughter rumbled like thunder with all its expectations and when he was finished slipping into everyone's lives the brunette vanished in the sun light cheerfully reminding the digidestined that he had been there and now he wouldn't be. Taichi was a storm that had run its course.

Numbly Daisuke brushed calloused fingers against the scuffed goggles upon his head before pulling them down into his lap. Taichi had been the leader of the digidestined for much longer than he ever had. Daisuke knew that his hero had made mistakes so it had been easier that time when he had caught the first glimpses of the digital world and his partner digimon to accept the new mantle of leadership to the chosen children. The younger child of miracles knew better than any that he did not have the right temperament for a leadership position. He was much too green and uncomfortable with himself and his teammates to properly lead anything. What use was he in fighting life or death battles? Daisuke, to himself, was only good for scoring a goal or pissing the new kid Takeru off by boasting. Taichi saw something different though. Somewhere within his soccer playing, Hikari fantasizing, Taichi worshipping stupor the older leader of the digidestined had seen the beginnings of a leader within him and finally Daisuke began to think that maybe being his true self everywhere might just be okay.

Taichi Yagami had taught Daisuke more than anything other person ever had. It would be lying and insulting to his idol if Daisuke didn't admit that fact. Everything Daisuke was today he owed in part to Taichi. His friendships had strengthened; his leadership skills had improved, his soccer skills got even better, and though his love life was nil at the moment, Daisuke could only feel happiness for his friends who had found loves of their own even if Takeru and Hikari were dating and holding hands in the hallways. Taichi had taught him all that and even in death his brunette friend continued to teach him things.

Daisuke could still hear his friend's screams as the flames consumed Taichi. The pain in his brown eyes as well as the sadness would haunt Daisuke's dreams for the rest of his life. His leader, his friend, practically his brother had given up his life for the sake of his teammates. Taichi Yagami had loved his friends more than his own life. Daisuke saw that and did not know if he would have been able to do the same. He was not the leader that Taichi was and he would never be.

A huff of air passed through the second generation chosen child fogging the goggles that Daisuke had brought closer to his face. Those goggles were Taichi's legacy. They were more than material objects. Those goggles symbolized a new age in the Digital World and the original leader's faith that Daisuke had what it took to care for the new group of chosen children. Those goggles were Taichi's belief in everything Daisuke is and the younger brunette had no intentions of letting his idol's efforts fade into the past.

Standing abruptly Daisuke snapped the goggles into their place on the crown of his head before striding to his bedroom door and wrenching it open. His sister still stood there, concern in her eyes and fist raised to knock once again, but Daisuke merely brushed past her on his trek out of the apartment. Taichi had made him leader for a reason and he would not fail his friend. Daisuke had a team to care for now and nothing could stop him even if there was a chance he would measure up as a leader.

Taichi was a storm that had passed, but Daisuke would follow on his heels. He would become the storm. He would make his leader proud. He owed it to his friend. Daisuke owed it to Taichi, the man who made him what he was. He owed it to the man who saw through the fake persona those first few days of high school, the man who saw potential in him. He owed his life to Taichi Yagami, the man who thought his own life less important than the friends he loved so much.

Taichi Yagami was so very wrong.


	18. Harmonica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yamato's Aftermath

Yamato had never been a patient person. Even before his adventures in the Digital World the blonde had frustrated arguments with his parents and friends. Before Gabumon Yamato had been a boiling mess of hormones and the scourge of the peaceful atmosphere of the digidestined team. Yamato was ashamed to admit that when he was younger he had been on the wrong end of many of the disagreements within the chosen children and he had caused the most grief by being so focused on himself and his self-proclaimed duty to protect Takeru from everything, including growing up. The digidestined of friendship had never had a clear picture of who he was in those days and running across a foreign world full of monsters and death at every turn didn't do anything but exacerbate the already growing esteem problems Yamato was developing.

It had been simple really, for Cherrymon to turn Yamato against his closest friends, or at least estrange himself from them. At that point even Takeru, anxious to be a beneficial part of the team, was angry at his narrow-mindedness. Fighting with Taichi and disagreeing with his leadership broke something within the group. How could they fight the Dark Masters if they were not a united team? So Yamato chose to leave and almost paid dearly for it. His friends had almost died without his help and his brother had almost lost the very hope he was destined to nurture. It was that situation that brought the blonde's life into greater focus.

The chosen children had always been extending their hands to him. They'd always been offering him the friendship he hadn't cared to see. Taichi, the leader of the group had been the only one to truly understand Yamato's way of dealing with things. The blonde was self-destructive, that was certainly true, and Taichi had known that only when the bearer of the crest of friendship had hit rock bottom would Yamato begin to see his teammates as anything other than foolish burdens. Taichi had weathered that storm and Yamato was eternally grateful for the friendship the two of them shared.

But dammit, now he was ANGRY. Taichi was his best friend. Taichi had shown him what the crest of friendship really meant. How could that bastard go and sacrifice himself when it was Yamato who had done the most harm to the digidestined from within? How could Taichi, the boy who most represented the brightness in life, the sun, go and get himself killed?

Yamato sighed. This destructiveness had always been his problem. Of course, on an instinctual level Yamato knew exactly why Taichi had sacrificed himself instead of telling the other digidestined. Yamato knew because he would have done the same thing if he were in Taichi's place. To repay the digidestined for the love they had given him even though he didn't deserve it, the chosen child of friendship would do anything. Taichi did not want that for his team. Taichi did not want his precious family to think that they were expendable. The crazy brunette would rather take the entire burden of being a digidestined upon his own shoulders before harming any of his friends. That was just how the bearer of courage worked. It was that quality that endeared him to his team and Yamato knew that no matter how hard Daisuke tried, the original group of chosen would always listen to Taichi first. He was their leader. Taichi had led them through hell and back, not without problems, but efficiently.

Looking around himself Yamato noticed the lack of sunlight in the room. How long had he sat here in his thoughts? How long ago had Takeru given up his vigil at the bedroom door? How long had it been since he had stood in the ruined clearing, staring at the devastation before him, wondering what exactly had happened? Taichi's death, how long ago was it? In silence Yamato looked down at the object in his palm. The metal surface of his harmonica had long since grown warm with his body heat and the sheen of the mirror surface was dull from his touch. This instrument was something that Taichi had treasured. This silly instrument that only made it through their journeys by chance because Yamato had stuffed it in his pants pocket the day the chosen children were first swept into the digital world. But, Yamato mused, the harmonica's tunes always calmed Taichi even after the group returned to the real world. The growing unrest that the bearer of friendship felt from the brunette's soul always lessened when soft notes played from that harmonica. Those days sitting with Taichi just playing whatever songs that came to mind were fond memories to Yamato.

Taichi was the sun, yes, and the brunette was one of the loudest people Yamato knew, but the chosen child was far more introspective than most. Those idle times with Taichi had at least taught Yamato that there was more to his best friend and leader than soccer and adventure. There was courage there of course, but there was also calmness, a contented atmosphere that lingered on those days that were more reminiscent of the Digital World than the busy streets of Tokyo. Taichi had missed his responsibilities and adventures as a digidestined more so than the rest of his group. The other chosen children had always been aware of that, but the past few weeks their leader had been more restrained. It didn't take his crest of friendship to know, this time, that Taichi was drifting away from his friends and it didn't take Koushirou's brain for Yamato to realize that the brunette was plunging deeper into a depression that was far more desolate than Hikari's black sea or Cherrymon's warped illusions. What could he have done though, other than give Taichi those few moments of peace with his old harmonica's song drifting through a small bedroom? The brunette was unwilling to talk. He had been unwilling to share that burden even to the very end.

Yamato ignored the tears that fell from his eyes then, because his best friend had suffered loneliness without crying. His best friend had kept his secrets tightly and though Yamato felt like ripping the sky apart, that would not bring back the sun. It would not reveal Taichi hiding behind a diminishing storm cloud an impish look in his eyes and a cocky stature. Raising shaky hands to his face the bearer of the friendship placed the harmonica softly against his lips.

The notes Yamato played that day held nothing of the despair he felt. He would not insult the sun with shadows of sadness. Yamato owed Taichi that much.


	19. Bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sora's Aftermath

When she was younger, Sora hated flowers. In fact, Sora hated everything that was considered appropriate for a girl. It made sense, in a way, because she had never understood her mother, the things she liked, or the things she wanted to pass on to her daughter. All of Sora's friends were boys of the same opinion on dresses: that they were useless. Flowers to Sora were the epitome of wastefulness and for that matter so was every other girly or feminine thing her mother had tried in vain to interest Sora with. Why did something need to be beautiful just for the sake of beauty and aesthetics? Flowers were so impractical. Her mother was foolish for liking such frivolous things and though it was the flower shop that kept a roof over Sora's head, the young tom boy could not help but feel anything but anger for the little, fragile stems and petals that gained more affection from her mother and the general public than she did.

That had been a long time ago, before high school and the mended relationship with her mother, before the Digital World, digidestined, and Biyomon showed her love was more than continuous affection and pleasantries. Sora had grown from that tom-boy who didn't understand her feelings or her crest. She had grown out of that dark, empty place just as surely as she'd grown out of those scuffed up sneakers, torn jeans, and bucket hat. On those days that Taichi would hang out at the flower shop he always teasingly called her the flower of his life. Sora could only blush and stammer even though she knew he'd grown out of his feelings for her as well. Taichi always said that she bloomed into a bright and beautiful flower, but he'd always treasure his memories of her rolling in the dirt like a root. Sora, well accustomed to Taichi's form of teasing, simply ignored her friend, but that didn't mean Taichi stopped trying.

The crest of love was not what changed Sora in the Digital World. All of the digidestined were fated to be chosen children. What the digimon and the powers that be did for her as a child was simply something that would have developed much less naturally and painfully. The digital world and the experiences that Sora had with her friends made her able to accept the emotions she always tried to hide from everyone. After her adventures in the Digital World the things she hated like flowers and dresses that she did not understand became beautiful to her as well. People did not giggle at the flower arrangements and daisies in her mother's store simply because the flowers were pretty, but because they admired the life and vibrancy that each petal represented. Perhaps Taichi had known all along what the chosen children would become. Maybe he'd known that they would drift away. Was that what was driving Taichi further into himself? Fighting with Hikari, ignoring the other digidestined, and avoiding Koushirou were not things that Taichi Yagami would ever do if there wasn't something horribly wrong. Taichi called Sora a flower, but the past few months she hadn't seen any sun from her wild haired leader and best friend. Looking around the dim room of her mother's shop Sora found herself slipping into despair. The air was suffocating her and even though the store was closed and no customers were near her, the digidestined of love felt as if she was being examined closely. What had they done? Taichi was their leader. Taichi was the person who had gotten them safely through the Digital World. Taichi for all of his faults and airheaded moments had the best heart of anyone Sora had ever known. How could they have forgotten or ignored his pain when it was so obvious? Why did Sora, who had known Taichi the longest of any of the Chosen Children save Hikari, not stop and realize she was allowing the one friend who would never let go of her hand for anything, fall into a slump he obviously could not get out of by himself?

Suddenly the flowers around her made Sora ill. It was unfair that these flowers were alive, bringing joy to the world when Taichi was so very dead. Sora walked up to the arrangements lining the walls. What good were roses and daisies anymore? Flowers were a sad representation of life when such an empty organism was allowed to exist and continue when Taichi would never smile at her again. He would never joke about old times, or try to corral her into a soccer match with the younger digidestined, or tease her about her new hair barrettes, or glare at Yamato in her defense when her sometimes clueless boyfriend forgot an important date or fact. Taichi was gone and all Sora could do was allow the tears lingering in her eyes to fall while a soft keening moan left her dry lips. What could these flowers as beautiful as they were do to help her now? What could be more catastrophic than ripping the sun that so many people depended on out of the sky?

Taichi Yagami was dead. His body, crest, and partner digimon Agumon had shattered into thousands of glittering lights before vanishing in the winds of the Digital World. The Chosen Children were lucky that way, because they didn't have to remember the vision of their leader as anything but alive. It wasn't enough, however, to merely accept the platitudes that comforted a group of children that had abandoned the person who refused to abandon them. Taichi would never smile again. He would never comfort his fellow teammates. He would never walk, or run, or talk to anyone again and he'd done it all for people who Sora was beginning to think as worthless as the younger version of herself who didn't understand what love truly was. As her sobs grew the digidestined of love knew that they could never fix what had been done. They could never fix the broken Taichi that had sacrificed himself simply because he loved his friends and family too much. Standing on shaking feet Sora began to walk upstairs ignoring her mother's calls in the hallway as she entered the apartment. Sitting on her small bed; Sora let an overwhelming tiredness seep into her bones. She was a Chosen Child and she couldn't allow herself to fall completely apart. It was her duty to fix what could be fixed in this situation even though the one thing she wanted mended most of all was far beyond help.

Sora's tears were gone. For a moment she would have to put her feelings of guilt to the side and focus on the situation. If the digidestined were going to continue on from this, they had to do what Taichi would have wanted them to do. They couldn't give up and let Taichi's death be in vain. The digidestined were chosen to protect the two worlds and Sora would assure that that task was taken care of. She would not fail in her duties as the bearer of a crest as she failed in her duties as a friend. Taichi once told her with amusement leaking from his voice that she was a flower that bloomed in the darkest of times. It had been true in a way, but Sora shuddered to apply the definition in this situation. Taichi had never failed her once, even back on Server when he hesitated to cross the electric field. When she'd needed him the most Taichi risked his own life to save hers and confront Datamon. She would not fail him by forsaking the potential he seemed to believe she possessed. Standing once more Sora was surprised to realize how quickly night had come upon the city. Twinkling lights from the skyscrapers in the distance seemed more like stars in the sky.

Sora would do her best. She would make Taichi proud. She would not fail. The chosen child of love swore upon Taichi's memory that she would not fail.

Sora would bloom without the sun.


	20. Balcony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iori's Aftermath

Iori did not know Taichi Yagami. If asked the youngest digidestined would be unable to tell you Taichi's favorite color, his favorite foods, career paths, or even his taste in music besides the popular band that Yamato played in. No opportunities had arisen in the time that he'd known the former leader of the Chosen Children that could answer any of those questions. If not for the common link of their mutual friends and the Digital World most people would venture to say that Iori and Taichi didn't know each other even as well as acquaintances. Iori did, however, know that Taichi's cheering during kendo matches was very much unbecoming of the sport. Iori knew that Taichi was observant and when the brunette focused enough he could memorize things like the intricate rules of kendo in one tournament. Iori knew that though Taichi was generally cheerful, he wasn't really the airhead that people portrayed him to be. The young digidestined knew that Taichi cared more about his team, past and future, than himself and would go miles out of his way to make sure his friends succeeded in their endeavors. Iori knew that, unlike his protégé Davis, Taichi could be patient and caring enough to realize when those around him had a problem and then the chosen child of courage sought any way he could to fix those problems. Taichi saw things that other people didn't in a way that nobody else could. He made solutions that benefited everyone.

Iori did not know Taichi, but before his understanding of the digidestined developed, before Kensuke, and before Jyou's mentorship it was Taichi who saw the darkness within Iori. As a leader of the Chosen Children, though Iori certainly hadn't thought of him as such, Taichi brought Iori out of his shell just by accepting who Iori was as a person not as the child everyone else thought him to be. Iori never told anyone, but that day that Taichi brought him out to the balcony and gave him advice was one of the most important events of his life. Nobody else, save Miyako, had ever tried so honestly to bring him out from behind his mask. Nobody had ever sought to talk to him about the consequences of his father's death or the uber-traditional parenting methods his mother and grandfather used. Iori loved his family, but even he could tell that there was something wrong when a young man that everyone considered a small child had the maturity of a grown person. Taichi saw the emotions broiling under Iori's skin even though the young digidestined tried his best to hide it. That day on the balcony had opened doors for him. Taichi's advice pointed him towards Jyou with whom he'd started a meaningful and useful friendship with. The brunette's advice led him to realize the feelings of the other digidestined easier, though it had still been a struggle at points.

Taichi was more than he seemed. All of the digidestined realized that. It was a common truth among the digidestined that Taichi knew his team better than they themselves knew each other sometimes. When Iori hung around the older digidestined Taichi would always cast a thoughtful glance at his friends, as if assuring himself that nothing was amiss. Many times Taichi would unobtrusively pull someone aside to talk. Iori could only imagine those quite discussions between his friends went much the same as the discussion on the balcony that day long ago. Even now that all of the digidestined seemed to be growing up and away from each other, Taichi's place was well established in the group. The brunette was never changing and that, perhaps, was the source of Chosen Child of courage's problems recently.

If Iori knew anything about Taichi it was that he gave good advice, but rarely did he follow that advice. Taichi told him on the balcony that day to seek his friends when he needed to talk. Taichi pointed him towards the one person he thought might be best able to help Iori. The young chosen was inherently grateful for that advice, but it also gave him an understanding towards the boy that was once called leader. That day Iori said some things in his own selfishness that marred Taichi. Iori could still see the brunette leaning against the balcony railings with a small, sorrowful, wistful smile directed towards the air in front of him or, most likely, towards the distant past. Taichi missed his role as a digidestined. It didn't take a genius to figure that one out, but maybe Taichi's place in the team meant more than even Iori originally thought. Disparaging Taichi's place as a former leader had been hurtful sure, but Iori got the feeling that with his words he'd unleashed a sleeping dragon that proceeded to claw through Taichi's heart little by little forcing the wild haired boy further and further into despair. Taichi wouldn't talk about it though. He'd allowed the darkness to take him in to the point he began arguing and avoiding the other digidestined. If Iori didn't know the things he did about the boy then he'd probably be angry at the brunette's glib attempts to play hero, but even Iori knew that Taichi's sacrifice was made out of love and not a hero complex. The young digidestined didn't have it in him to be angry. There wasn't enough room to fit that emotion in with all the sadness rolling around his heart.

Taichi was dead. That was a cold, depressing fact that would not go away. For all of the liveliness that the Chosen Child of Courage displayed, it seemed almost impossible to imagine the brunette as something so concrete as dead. There was no returning from that. Iori wondered how the other digidestined were fairing now. Miyako was probably having the easiest time. She'd known Taichi the least after all, though Iori knew she had some fondness for the boy. Hikari was most likely inconsolable sitting in the Yagami apartment explaining the situation to her equally devastated parents. Iori wondered about Koushirou who seemed to be the closest to Taichi. The youngest digidestined looked up to Koushirou as a type of mentor in the Digital World and he'd definitely seen something developing between the bearers of the crest of knowledge and courage. The red head was silent about personal matters, however, and Iori wasn't about to pry.

Takeru told him once that there was a time when all of the original digidestined went their separate ways. Apparently after a large battle against a powerful Digimon Taichi was forcibly thrust back into the human world. Without some sort of glue to hold them together the team quickly fell apart. The only reason any of them survived was because Taichi, fearing for his friends' lives, left the safety of his home and traveled back to the Digital World to find everyone. Would Taichi's absence now have the same affect? Would the digidestined, despite all of their pasts together, drift apart to face the world alone?

Iori was supposed to be the reliable one of the group. He was supposed to be the mesh of the intellect of Koushirou and the reliability of Jyou, but now Iori only felt useless. He didn't know his friends well enough to help them yet and he didn't know Taichi enough to prevent the brunette's sacrifice. Was it right to feel such overwhelming guilt? Was it right to bemoan how useless he felt? Taichi was a type of hero to Iori. He'd seen what others had not. Taichi, with all his brash character had cared enough to wake Iori up to the world he was desperately running from. Iori always thought he'd grow up, get a job and then die. That straight path would be his life and then it would end. Then the Digital World happened and everything was turned upside down because suddenly he was fighting alongside monsters that needed him to digivolve and fighting against monsters seeking to destroy both the Digital and the Human world. Taichi had been a hand to grasp and cling to in an ocean of turbulence. That one moment on the balcony when Taichi looked within Iori and saw a frightened person had been a defining moment in the youngest destined life. But now they'd all lost Taichi. They'd probably lost him long before his sacrifice and all Iori had left was the heavy, hopeful memory of Taichi's hand resting upon Iori's forehead whilst the summer breeze wafted around them.

Oh god how he wished that day on the balcony would come back and last forever. He'd tell Taichi he was sorry for that leadership comment. Iori would tell his friend thank you for the numerous favors the brunette did for the team. He'd inform the leader just how much he meant to the digidestined and how much losing him would devastate the people around him. Iori would tell Taichi that making too much noise at a kendo game was frowned upon but secretly it was amusing to hear the shouts from the audience. Iori would tell Taichi that the brunette meant the world to so many people that it was ridiculous to sacrifice that love for those, like himself, who didn't even know how to act in difficult situations. Oh what wouldn't Iori let spill forth from his childlike lips if he just had one more chance to right his wrongs?

Iori didn't know. He might never know, but the young digidestined would hold onto that memory of Taichi on the balcony for the rest of his life.


	21. Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miyako's Aftermath

Miyako sat on her bed oblivious to the noise resonating throughout the small apartment she shared with her rather large family. Looking around, the digidestined knew that life would never be the same again. It was true that Miyako knew and understood Taichi Yagami least of all of the Chosen Children. She didn't have the shared experience of being stuck in the Digital World with no way home. She'd never had to kill or be killed. Miyako never needed to worry about whether she would be able to keep her friends safe until they could enjoy their next meal if that meal even existed. In fact, the only things Miyako and Taichi had in common were Hikari and their partner Digimon. Miyako always felt as if she were an ordinary girl that extraordinary things happened to. Yes, she was a Chosen Child, but it didn't take much to realize the inner strength her fellow digidestined possessed.

Taichi Yagami was far from a typical teenage boy. He'd been chosen to be a digidestined before any of the other Chosen Children save his sister Hikari. The Agumon who appeared in the city when the digidestined were young came through the Yagami computer and lived with the siblings before evolving. Hikari's unique story had been told many times before, but surely there was some other reason besides her presence that allowed Taichi to help a Digimon who was not even his partner to digivolve into Greymon. Miyako didn't really know. She'd often pondered about the origin of the Chosen and the decision to let fate rest upon the shoulders of children, but ultimately she was either too young to understand or remember.

Taichi's presence in the digidestined gave the team a sense of stability. The Chosen Children, even those like Miyako who could not claim deep companionship, knew that the brunette's door was always open for the usually good advice Taichi gave his team. All of the digidestined seemed more relaxed in the boy's presence, even the younger members like herself and Iori. Taichi merely had to walk into the room with that familiar smile plastered on his face for his friends to feel better.

That smile served Miyako's team far better than she realized. It was unforgivable that they'd allowed Taichi to fall into his depression over the recent months and it was beyond unforgivable that he'd been able to walk alone into battle and sacrifice himself while the other digidestined watched in helplessness. Even Miyako and her detached relationship with Taichi couldn't claim a valid excuse.

She understood Taichi's motivation somewhat. The boy would have, and did, give up everything for the survival of his loved ones. It was absurd to think anyone could contain Taichi Yagami's natural, loving spirit, but Miyako couldn't shake the feeling that something else was wrong with this entire situation. It was impossible to think of Taichi as gone because something in Miyako's head flat out rejected the idea.

Standing Miyako sighed. "What does it feel like, to not be leader anymore?" Indeed, that is what Miyako said to Taichi while waiting for Hikari that day. She never regretted asking then and she still mostly didn't regret it now, but Miyako knew in her heart as the protégé of Mimi and Sora that Taichi could not only bear such words, but learn from them. Clutching her digivice harder in her hand Miyako smiled. Digimon and the Digital World made her who she was. She knew the glittering light that Taichi faded into had to be some kind of clue. The other digidestined were probably too consumed in their grief at the moment to realize what exactly floated away on the wind back in the Digital World, but Miyako knew those glittering particles to be the very data that something was made of. Those beautiful lights were Taichi's soul and the key to this disastrous event.

Resolve settled over Miyako. Taichi might not have the title of leader anymore but whether he knew it or not the rest of the Chosen Children followed the brunette's every command. It was her duty as Taichi's friend and teammate to make sure Taichi's death and his will were in order. There could be no stone unturned. Miyako needed the irrevocable truth. Those sparkling lights in that clearing were the perfect place to start.

Besides, Miyako thought walking out of her room; there was no telling what interesting information she'd find. Maybe, just maybe, there was a happier ending to this catastrophe.


	22. Fixable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jyou's Aftermath

Jyou Kido couldn't fix death. He could not bring a corpse back to life like one of those mad scientists in the horror movies that gave him nightmares as a child. Jyou could not have done that even if there had been a body left to find. Taichi's death was painful, but mercifully quick and then the leader's body had simply broken into glittering lights and wafted away on the wind. Jyou Kido was a preserver of life. He'd worked his hardest to get into the best schools and then even harder than that to do well on his tests. The rest of the digidestined, Jyou's true friends, fondly called him uptight and his fellow students snidely called him a nerd behind his back, but it was Jyou's greatest ambition in life to become the best doctor possible.

That ambition wasn't always so strong. As a child Jyou was prone to panic attacks. He was indecisive and overbearing. When he was dragged into the Digital World one day at summer camp it was all he could do to stop himself from going into an epileptic fit. The trees scared him. Gomamon scared him. Other Digimon scared him. Hell, he was even scared of himself in those days. Being a Chosen Child changed that rigidness. His friends saw him for who he could be and his adventures gave him confidence. Life in the Digital World was more difficult than anything any of the digidestined had ever faced. Many times the children were injured with no idea of how to patch themselves. Those dangers just inspired Jyou further on his path in the medical field. The Child of Reliability wanted to be prepared if any of his loved ones needed healing ever again.

But, even Jyou's medical knowledge could never cure the hurt inside the Chosen Children now, because that hurt wasn't a laceration. The digidestined weren't bleeding, but the pain was greater than any wound. Taichi Yagami was dead and they couldn't do anything to prevent it. Jyou was the Child of Reliability. It was his job as a digidestined to look over his friends. HE was supposed to be the voice of reason in the group, but even Jyou knew that nobody could take over the responsibilities that Taichi held. Jyou knew that as plainly as he knew Taichi would always need his knees patched up after a soccer game and then whine the moment antiseptic was introduced into the conversation. Jyou lost count a long time ago how many times he'd bandaged his leader, but he knew Taichi always appreciated the trouble Jyou went to to make time in his busy schedule to heal a whiny teenager.

Somehow it was always Taichi, with his words and actions that made Jyou feel the best about himself. When the blunette was stressed over a test or feeling hopeless Jyou could always count on Taichi to show up like clockwork with a bright smile on his face and what the boy called brain food but what really equaled an inordinate amount of calories in plastic packages. Taichi calmed Jyou in a way nobody else could and it was because through all their adventures and experiences Taichi never once lost his faith in the Chosen Child of Reliability. Taichi never lost his faith in any of the digidestined even when they lost faith in themselves. That was what Taichi believed his own responsibility to be: his team.

"You're the most reliable person I know." That's what Taichi told him mere weeks before the wild haired boy's death. Taichi stood there on the school soccer field with bandages on his knees and a smile on his face. That had been a true smile, one that Taichi hadn't shown in a while. The former leader of the digidestined stood there with the scent of antiseptic floating through the air and professed his faith in Jyou's character. That faith meant more than even Jyou himself realized at the time. Something changed within Taichi that day. Those chocolate burned with a sad resolve and from then on the Chosen of Courage began to drift away from the rest of the digidestined. The idiot in Taichi's mind began running full force knocking the far more mature and sensible voice of reason from the boy's head. That idiot made Taichi think he wasn't part of the group anymore and that, though the others were moving forward, it was okay to leave the brunette behind because he was a washed up digidestined. Taichi thought he wasn't needed anymore.

That look of resolve melted into sorrowful acceptance and Jyou, standing between the rest of the digidestined and his former leader, realized that the brunette made some final choice in his own head. Jyou hadn't understood then, but he did now. Taichi was letting his team go then. He was letting them go on with their ever growing futures by stepping back to let himself represent the past.

Jyou didn't know what he could have done to change the mindset of his best friend. It was always harder to knock the sense back into Taichi's head rather than merely knock it out. Taichi would always put his friends' happiness before his own because his happiness was his friends. That was just a fact that all of the digidestined knew and loved about their wild haired friend. If it meant sacrificing his very life then Taichi would never even hesitate. Maybe they, the digidestined, didn't care enough or maybe they'd lost sight of what was truly important with all the plans for the future being made, but whatever the reasons or fallacies of the Chosen Children, there was no excuse for allowing Taichi, their cherished friend and leader, to fall away from the group and into the darkness.

Jyou felt for the first time since receiving it that he did not deserve his crest. He was the reliable one, the responsible child. He was the Chosen Child who was charged with keeping the digidestined on their paths and Jyou failed one of the few people who never even thought about failing him.

Jyou wished he'd sacrificed himself instead. He wished, like the rest of the digidestined were no doubt wishing now, that he'd seen or predicted what Taichi was going to do during that accursed battle. Jyou wished that his faith in Taichi hadn't been so blind as to allow one of his best friends to walk right up to death and let it burn his soccer scarred body away in the wind. Jyou wished most of all for just one more moment with the man he called leader and friend. The Chosen Child of Reliability wished for one more smile upon those lips and one more sheepish, impish hand running through impossibly tall brown locks of hair. Jyou wished for those approving chocolate eyes to look on him one more time and to see Taichi's face cringe in acceptance when the smell of antiseptic wafted through the air.

Just once more Jyou wished for the sun to shine. The Chosen Child of Reliability wanted to look at the sun until his retinas bleached and the only thing he could see was an overwhelming blankness. He wanted Taichi to be alive so much it hurt. Jyou wanted to look upon his leader until his heart burned a slow, throbbing, painful fire instead of the terrible eternal ache that occupied his soul. Jyou wanted to see that all was right in a world that still had a person like Taichi Yagami in it all bright and alive and fixable.

But Jyou Kido could not fix death. He knew enough not to try.


	23. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ken's Aftermath

Years ago the feeling of absolute power and control was only grasped through the deletion of a Digimon. As the Digimon Kaiser, Ken Ichijouji gleefully controlled helpless creatures until he tired of them. To him Digimon were meaningless beings with no original thoughts or emotions, only small bits of computer data fused together to give the impression of intelligence. Though Wormmon attempted to change Ken's mind, the boy was too deep in his depression over losing his brother to realize the consequences of his actions.

Then Wormmon was deleted and Ken knew only the pain of the severed partner connection. The guilt of his past consumed him until he could do no more than wander the plains of the Digital World in a daze. To Ken, Wormmon's death was exactly like his brother's because it was his fault.

Ken did not know then the lifecycles of Digimon, because he had not bothered to learn about his partner at all when he discovered the power to control other, stronger Digimon. He had no concept of being reborn in Primary Village because when humans died they did not come back. Digimon, though, lived nearly infinite lives unless they were partner Digimon like Agumon who perished when Taichi was killed. The small nursery guarded by Elektmon was where he found his partner's digiegg. When his Digimon hatched Ken felt the partner bond spring back to life within his soul stronger and yet somehow more fragile than before. The warmth in his heart was unlike any other he ever felt and with time the young digidestined learned to atone for his crimes with the help of the rest of the Chosen Children.

Having friends was a new experience for Ken and Daisuke's rambunctious attitude was extremely overwhelming at times, but with his team Ken was the happiest he'd been since the death of his brother. Now though Ken did not know what to think. An essential part of the group that forgave him for the horrible things he did in the past gave up everything so his friends and the world would survive. Taichi was dead and the Chosen child of Kindness was positive humans weren't reborn or reconfigured into digieggs.

Out of all the terrible things he did as Digimon Kaiser, attempting to control Agumon, Taichi Yagami's partner Digimon and trying to break their partner bond was the most despicable next to the deletion of his own partner. It did not take much to recall the pain and hopelessness that overcame him at Wormmon's passing. It was unforgivable that he tried to destroy something so precious.

Taichi did forgive him though. The brunette with gravity defying locks smiled a cocky grin at him and professed his faith in the strength of his own partner. It wasn't until later that Ken heard a little of Taichi's past from Takeru and found that the former leader's partnership with Agumon differed from the rest of the digidestined. The two were perhaps closer than he and Wormmon were now to the point that Hikari theorized Taichi could feel Agumon's emotions in the back of his head past the barriers of the worlds themselves. The bearer of courage was always the first to give power to his Digimon to evolve to the next level. The incident with Skullgreymon scarred the brunette more than he publicly showed, but a stronger bond between the boy and the orange dinosaur was the ultimate result.

It was then that Ken realized that Taichi forgave because he understood what darkness could do to a person. It wasn't because Hikari's crest acted like a magnet for darkness but because Taichi's own self had darkness that needed to be dealt with. Skullgreymon was a result of that darkness just as the power of the Digimon Kaiser was a result of the darkness within Ken. The Chosen of Kindness could not help but wonder if Taichi, having the strongest bond with his Digimon, was the most susceptible to the darkness, or that lonely ocean, now that he longer held the stabilizing position of leader or had the adventures in the Digital World to distract him.

That reasoning would certainly explain Taichi's behavior as of late. Even Ken, who, despite being forgiven, still tried to keep his distance from the brunette, could see the sadness floating about Taichi's slender frame. Once aware of the situation Ken could not say he offered any help to the former leader, and he saw that even Hikari was unable to assist her brother. When the call from the Digimon came that day Taichi jumped back into his old self so quickly his friends almost got whiplash. The actions of the brunette were both enlightening and concerning. The hope that the digidestined would be able to understand the Chosen of Courage began to grow, but just as quickly was ruined in a horrific, fiery blaze.

Ken recognized the enemy that attacked. He couldn't tell anybody in the aftermath, but the being they fought was so strangely similar to the aura surrounding the dark ocean that he and Hikari almost lost themselves to that Ken had little doubt of its identity. Ken did not feel the hopelessness well up in him during the battle and Hikari was as enthusiastic as ever so the Chosen of Kindness could only theorize that the monster's target was someone else this time. After Taichi's sacrifice Ken wondered if that demon had attacked far sooner than the Chosen Children thought in a much less physical way. Had it been preying on Taichi the entire time they were ignoring their leader's pain. Had they let the Child of Courage fall so far that even their desperate attempts to reach for him would not succeed? Ken could only hope he was wrong. He hoped that all the time the rest of the digidestined had spent living their lives and moving forward was not at the expense of Taichi being consumed by the darkness.

Then Ken wondered if Taichi's sacrifice had been in vain. If the monster really was the darkness then surely the power of one crest could not overcome it so thoroughly. Had Taichi's sacrifice awakened the darkness within all of the digidestined? Would they now all fall prey to the sadness and hopelessness only to let all they fought for fall apart? He wondered if the devastation of Taichi's death might bring their foe back from where the brunette could never return. The data of the Chosen Child of Courage, his crest, and Agumon were now strewn about the skies of the Digital World touching the winds and the air so completely they were like the sun's rays. It was a fitting, if bitter, burial for the boy who was happiest whilst tromping from one digital adventure to the next.

What would happen to the Digidestined now? Would Daisuke be able to handle the full strain of leadership? Would Hikari ever feel the light of her crest after this terrible heartbreak? Would the older digidestined drift away from the younger generation now that Taichi wasn't there to be a bridge between the two? Would the younger generation realize their full potential now that the person they unknowingly relied upon so heavily was dead? These were questions that Ken had no chance of answering.

Not since the death of his brother had Ken felt so bitter and angry over the frailty of human life. Taichi Yagami was a good person, one of the best. He gave Ken the solace of forgiveness when the young boy hadn't deserved it. Taichi gave the older digidestined an anchor and the younger digidestined a buoy to weather the storms of teenage life and, like a captain, let himself go down with the ship. Taichi would not be reborn like a Digimon. He would not smile, or laugh, or yell and scream. He would not walk or run, play or avoid studying ever again. It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair that such bonds could ever be broken.

It wasn't fair that the darkness could so easily consume the sun.


	24. Slumber

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hikari's Aftermath

"You won't be going back!" Hikari's mother's voice rang shrill in the Yagami apartment, but the Chosen Child of light could not bring herself to care. She and her parents rarely argued, but when they did it was always about Hikari's place as a digidestined. Her parents hated the thought of her constant adventures into dangerous situations and Hikari hated the fact that they would deny her a piece of who she truly was as a person. The young woman knew and had known since Gatomon appeared before her that her destiny as a Chosen Child was her true calling. She often argued with her parents about returning to the Digital World, but today Hikari couldn't say much of anything and she probably proved her parents right in a lot of their objections. Taichi was dead after all. His blackened body kept flashing across her mind and his screams rang in her ears. Not once in her time as a digidestined had anything this severe happened.

Sure, there were times that the team had comes close to deletion. There were also times when Hikari herself thought she would lose her light to the dark ocean, but the actual death of a Chosen Child was something totally new and unthinkable in her mind. To Hikari the Digital World was always some grand adventure or extended playtime. There was danger, but there was also companionship, a feeling she had lacked for most of her life despite Taichi's fervent devotion to his little sister. Until now, saving the Digital World was like some after school special, where she was an undercover hero living dull reality by day, fighting villains by night and snuggling into her soft bed after the climatic finale.

Though Hikari remembered the true dangers of the Digital World, she never felt the hopelessness that the original six Chosen Children. She never had to kill a Digimon like Taichi and the rest of the digidestined nor did she never feel the burden of leadership or responsibility for young children that her older friends knew too well. Hikari realized swiftly as she saw her mother's face change from disbelief to agony that she was living a lie.

She believed the Digital World to be her second home, but what did she really know about the birthplace of her partner? It was a dangerous land, yes, but also fantastical where everyday Earth items appeared in strange places and rivers flowed backwards or frontwards or, sometimes, upward into the clouds. She knew that there were many Digimon and that most wanted to be friends, but others were better off being reconfigured. Hikari knew that when her Digimon was in trouble the rest of her team was always close by to assist. The Digital World was a home yes, but only a vacation palace that she could explore forever and never uncover all of the secrets.

Hikari's mother's screams fell into sobs. The normally cheerful brunette woman clutched her fingers into the skin of her face unmindful of the salty tears running over the wounds her fingernails left behind. Maybe, Hikari imagined, the small stings were the only things anchoring her mother to the world away from the waves of grief breaking around her. The Chosen's father stood to the side mumbling to himself and leaning against the wall for the support that neither his wife nor daughter could give him.

The room was dim because no one thought to turn on the lights in the apartment once the sun began to sink below the horizon. Hikari's tears long ago ran dry. Once Takeru left the Yagami family to deal with their grief the Chosen Child of Light's body simply failed her and she could nothing more than stare blankly out into the air. She desperately wished this moment was some twisted, horrible dream, but she knew better now than to hope for the impossible.

She couldn't return to the digital world. That's what her mother wanted. She shouldn't give up. That's what her role as a digidestined demanded of her. Right now Hikari did not feel strong enough to be the rope in this game of tug-a-war. Hikari barely knew what she wanted much less what she should do now that the one person she could always go to for the perfect advice was gone, no body, no last words, no nothing. Was she strong enough to push forward in her duty without her brother's constant encouragement? Was she strong enough to keep herself from her brother's fate and save her parents the grief of losing a second child?

She knew what Taichi's answers would be to all of her questions. Even now she could hear his cheerful voice in her ears and his gloved hands ruffling her hair in amusement. Hikari was Taichi's favored person. She'd been that since she was born. Taichi believed in his sister unconditionally even when she might be wrong. Had she given her brother the same support in life? Hikari was ashamed that she didn't know the answer to that question.

"Taichi. . .oh Taichi. . .my baby, my baby." Yuuko Yagami's voice struck Hikari's mind fiercely. Had her life been a joke until now? Had she been gallivanting across the Digital World thinking the entire time she and her friends were invincible? How foolish had she been thinking that everything would be all right time after time just because she had the words of her brother to shield and reassure her? She leaned far too heavily on a person who was only just a boy himself, a boy who was far too self-sacrificing to tell her when she was hurting him.

Taichi was dead. He was lost before he was dead. Though she did not feel the familiar waves of the dark ocean lapping at her ankles, Hikari wondered if it was only a matter of time before that sorrowful place introduced itself to the rest of her friends. Would the darkness come to consume them all? If the darkness did come would Hikari be paralyzed once more, too afraid to move though standing still meant certain death? Would drowning be the ultimate failure or the ultimate penance for allowing a light as bright as her brother Taichi to be snuffed out?

Hikari thought of her brother's smile and how it stretched wide upon thin lips across a happily tanned face. She thought of brunette hair that was so tall yet when she ran her fingers through it, so soft, even softer than her own. She thought of the goggles that now rested on Daisuke's head and the orange dinosaur that carved its own special place within the former leader's heart. Hikari would never know what it was like for the original Chosen Children even though she was considered one. She would never know the feeling of utter helplessness and loss that her friends and brother surely felt when they couldn't find a way home to their own world. For Hikari there was always a way home and, barring that, there was always a piece of home with her. Taichi's presence kept her childish fears at bay.

Taichi was the one who always ran wildly into the fray, heedless of the damage that might be done to himself in his own reckless pursuit of assisting Agumon. Taichi was the leader who always had a plan or at least had good enough instinct to get them through their wars alive and whole. Taichi was the person who kept the group together even now though Hikari and Takeru were the bridge between the original and the new generation Digidestined. Taichi was the person who always stood behind her, never silently, never nervously pushing her along the path that she must walk, the path of a Chosen Child.

Dead, dead, dead, Taichi was irrevocably dead. He was gone from the world and all she could do was sit silently hoping that maybe his screams would fade from her head, that maybe the sight of his body burning, curling into itself before shattering into millions of twinkling lights would disappear into the back of her mind like her brother's data surely scattered in the Digital World. Hikari wished she was more, more than she currently was. She wished she was enough to keep her brother as alive and vibrant as he'd always been. She wished that even before his death that her words reached him in that cloud of depression he surrounded himself with.

Her mother was no longer crying. She sat on the small couch in the Yagami apartment rocking her body back in forth, her eyes staring eerily into the shadows of the wall in front of her. Her lips opened and closed whispering something too low for Hikari to hear, but truthfully the Chosen of Light wasn't sure she wanted to. Her father disappeared a while ago, unable to stand the grief in the room, unable to express his own in the tears that Hikari and Yuuko so freely wept.

"You will not go back." Yuuko's eyes stared into her now. They swam in agony and worry. Yuuko understood, of course, the responsibilities of the Digidestined. She understood that the world was dependent on children. She understood that there was some danger, but she could not bear the thought of losing another baby to a world she couldn't fully comprehend, a world that repeatedly put her children in more danger than would ever be necessary. Hikari knew on some level her mother was being hysterical. She knew that if Taichi were here this would not be an issue, but it was. Taichi was not her and her mother needed something to latch onto. Her body was heavy when she pulled it across the room to sit by Yuuko. The ghostly being that was her mother did not move, did not blink, did not reach her hand to grab her child affectionately as she would have done normally. Hikari could never be the pillar of strength her brother was.

Taichi loved the Digital World. He loved the adventure. He loved the Digimon. He loved his team. He loved the risk. Taichi was the best Taichi when he was leading the digidestined across the wilderness of that once foreign world. Even the new Chosen Children could see that. Hikari wondered if they'd lost Taichi years ago, if his descent was slower, a longer, thinner crack that finally shattered completely only weeks before his end. Maybe Taichi's pain, his dark ocean began the day their crests were used to protect the Digital World, the day they gave up seeing their Digimon partners.

Her brother's room was dark when she entered. Every mess was as he'd left it that morning. Instead of climbing into her bed Hikari made the climb to the top bunk and smelled deeply of her brother's scent lacing the sheets. The faint smell of grass made her smile some and the whiff of sunshine was also perfect for her sibling. Hikari was so tired, as if all the tears she cried and all the breaths she'd taken today were her actual life force, that maybe she would follow her brother if only she could close her eyes the right way or position her body in Taichi's customary sleeping position: spread eagle with a hand dangling innocently of the side of the bunk. She thought of her mother, still in the near comatose state in the living room, and her father who was God knows where, who for the first time in Hikari's life had run from a problem he could not face. She thought of the Digimon, of Gatomon, who was no doubt desperate to hear some word from her human partner. Hikari thought of the shambles of her team.

She thought of Taichi.

Then she could think no more. Staring at the wall across the room Hikari came to a decision. She would fight for Taichi's sake, for his memory. She would never let herself feel this sorrow again. She would never give her father reason to run from his life or her mother to briefly escape reality. Hikari, despite her mother's pleas, would continue her destiny as a Chosen Child. Letting her eyes close Hikari fell into her exhaustion breathing deeply of the physical memories her brother left behind. Then she knew no more.

Hikari would face tomorrow as a new Digidestined. She only hoped her own crest would light the path she would now travel. Taichi wouldn't be there to guide her anymore.

Hikari slept.


	25. Landscape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Koushirou's Aftermath

A soft, pleasant wind blew through red locks as Koushirou gazed at the battlefield. Soon, like all scars in the Digital World, there would be nothing left. Here, in this world, everything fixed itself eventually. The sun shined brighter, the clouds floated merrily, and the torn dirt sewed itself up until the wounds healed completely and faded away into the past. Only memories could touch them there.

Koushirou wondered if he was selfish to wish for the wounded ground to stay in efficacy. Was he selfish to want this one memory, as painful as it was, to stand against time, against reconfiguration to remind the world, both digital and real, of a boy who would give everything, of a boy with a smile that could lead armies and a passion for adventure that was eclipsed by no other? Koushirou wished for Taichi's last moment to be branded in the ground, stable, eternal, and unyielding, unlikely to disappear as it would when recorded in feeble, fickle human brain tissue.

Wishes, however, were intangible. Koushirou knew more than most that nothing could stop nature from doing what it was created to do. The ground he saw, scarred from that terrible battle, would someday, maybe soon, maybe decades from now return to a sea of unending green held down by impossibly blue skies in which clouds drifted overhead. It would once more be a land of peace because nature, more so in the Digital World, had the ability to forget its wounds, to callously wash itself of the pain, to ignore the burn of the lost life that once thrived within it like a baby thrives within its mother's womb. But Koushirou still wished. He wished with his entire being for that power, but in the end he just was. Human. Insignificant. Fragile in comparison.

Sometimes he wondered if a real form of nature existed in the Digital World. The things he saw, the telephones on beaches, the drifting glaciers, the controlling black gears and spires; were they all truly a part of nature? Yes, at least, Koushirou thought so. There was birth and death in this world. There was happiness, green, fresh, and fruitful that nature, a sometimes peaceful, sometimes unstable thing was supposed to have. Despite being a digital fig mentation at birth, the Digital World had exploded with its own life, cultures, and landscapes. It was this strange world that beckoned for salvation years ago, unmindful that help came in the form of seven scared children. The only laws that mattered in the Digital World were power and destiny. The Chosen Children certainly time and time again proved themselves holders of both.

So those children saved the worlds. Over and over, again and again, like they were on some grand adventure, never mind that death lurked around every corner, at every ledge, in every new face there encountered. Sometimes they came close to defeat, but always, always, their teamwork and Digimon pulled through.

Koushirou himself was fascinated with a world that could thrive within the digital currents of his own reality without detection for so long. His fascination was shared by his friends, but for different reasons. Taichi, he thought with a smile, always rushed into new adventures like there was nothing to lose even though he was very aware of the consequences. Taichi's faith, his exuberance and confidence was perhaps the only strength that never failed the digidestined even if that same rash quality probably played a major part in Taichi's sacrifice. When Koushirou's theories were disproven, when Sora's love faltered, when Jyou's reasonable solutions failed to solve the problem, when Yamato's conflicting friendship became stifling, only Taichi's will was strong enough, courageous enough to dive when others would hesitate upon the edge. It was that confidence, that utter disregard for fate and the established rules of nature and certainty of success that made the rest of the Chosen Children depend on their leader.

Koushirou depended too. He depended on Taichi for strength, companionship, and more recently passion. Koushirou depended until he saw that Taichi was breaking under the expectations he'd laid upon his own shoulders. So Koushirou coaxed Taichi into depending on someone else for a change. He coaxed, pleaded, and kissed, or attempted to, the burdens off of his friend's shoulders.

Koushirou could still feel the brunette. He could still feel his solid, lean body squirming beneath him as the red head straddled his childhood friend that day in his room after school. Afterwards, gazing into those half-lidded eyes and hearing Taichi's confession, they had kissed and touched and explored each other's bodies in ways they'd never even explored their own. Koushirou could still feel the aching burn of Taichi's fingertips as one hand clutched slim hips and the other bravely inched its way under the red head's shirt skimming slowly, sensuously, up his spine. He could still feel how breathtaking and rigid Taichi was below him as they kissed and rubbed in delicious pleasure that was both physical and something much more, much deeper than anything they'd ever experienced before. Koushirou loved Taichi and he thought Taichi might love him in return. Those few short, enraptured moments would lie forever simmering in his heart, reminding him of fleeting passion and the agony of what could have been, what he could have had.

Now Taichi was gone. He was dead and, unlike a Digimon, never to be reborn. For three days Koushirou sat in his room begging the memories to stop, clutching locks of red pineapple hair in desperation, pleading with the universe for Taichi's screams, his last agonizing moments, to stop echoing within the walls of his mind. At times Koushirou screamed himself hoarse, heedless of his parents who finally broke down his bedroom door in worry. He screamed as they watched, helpless, in anger that something he cherished, something he loved and breathed like air could be ripped away from him while he could do nothing but watch. He cursed a world that would place the burdens of nature upon the frail shoulders of children without regard to the naïve devotion to the world from whence they came. He sobbed, cried, thrashed, and destroyed the room, his place that his parents gave him in torrents of rage because he was weak. WEAK! So weak that he allowed Taichi to sacrifice himself when Koushirou would gladly offer himself as a replacement.

Then, on the third day Koushirou left despite his parents' protests and came here, to the field in which everything went wrong. He saw its barren dirt in kinship because surely this scarred, burned, broken ground is how he would appear if someone could rip him apart and peer into the depths of his heart right now.

The rest of the Chosen Children were a mess, he knew. All of the digidestined were connected to Taichi in some way. He in the Digital World, thanks to their efforts over the years everywhere was peaceful save this one field and soon even the rip in this land would close up. Soon, even the battle that could very well have broken the Chosen Children would cease to disrupt the harmony of the world they'd vowed years ago to protect. It would bring a peace Taichi would be absurdly proud of. He would have turned to his friends with that ever present grin lighting up chocolaty eyes silently saying, "Hey! Look what I've done! Isn't it great? Isn't it everything we've ever wanted? "

And of course they all understood. Every digidestined from the first and the second generation would have made the same choice if it meant the lives of his or her friends or the future of the Digital World that was awe inspiring in its own right. That it was Taichi who sacrificed the most made even more sense. He'd always been willing to give of himself, to give too much of himself and now, as Koushirou looked over the landscape and his feet touched the spot where Taichi stood his last, the Chosen Child of Knowledge knew that Taichi did not have anything left to give. The brunette's essence was now within the wind that caressed his face and wrapped around him like an embrace.

And all of a sudden, just as suddenly as Koushirou made the decision to return here to this field, he was angry all over again. All his known life he'd solved problems with rules and formulas, but there was no solving "dead" because it was not a puzzle. Sure, he could ask "Why?" He could postulate what comes after. He could ponder Taichi's motives, but death just was. There were no amounts of niceties or platitudes, graphs or programs that could or would give him relief when he woke up each day knowing Taichi was gone from his life.

Koushirou's anger simmered because for all his intelligence, for all his abilities, he was still unable to keep himself from losing those precious to him and now the Digital World floated its healing grounds and puffy clouds mockingly in his face as if to say, "Taichi gave it all _to_ _me_. It does not matter that he gave it all _for_ _you_. I win. _I win_." With an almost inhuman scream Koushirou collapsed to his knees and buried his fingers into the loose dirt beneath him. The tears that rolled down his cheeks traveled well-worn paths. Whether they were angry or anguished now Koushirou did not really care.

Even now, around his clinched fists the Digital World healed itself. It reformed, reconfigured, and erased its past as if nothing had ever happened. Koushirou wept because he knew, he felt, the limitations of humans. He knew of the thin flesh and brittle bones, of emotions that were all at once the greatest strength and the most debilitating weakness. Digimon were resilient. They fought and died only to be reborn once more, but humans only had one life to live, only one chance to say, do, make, and destroy everything that needed it. No amount of wishing, no matter how hard Koushirou tried, would bring Taichi back to life.

The Chosen Child of Knowledge leaned back and rested his weight on his heels to look absently at the sky. He wondered with tired, reddened eyes what he should do now.

And, as if that was a signal, Koushirou heard footsteps approach behind him,

"Koushirou."

With some surprise Koushirou turned his black eyes upon Hikari and then focused on the rest of the Digidestined some ways behind her at the edge of the field. Hikari's few days of mourning had obviously taken its toll on her body. Pale skin, shadowed eyes and a pinched expression for the world to see was nothing like the general visage of Taichi's normally cheerful younger sister.

"Yes?" Koushirou's voice was rough, scratchy from his screaming the past few days. He watched as Hikari's shoulders pulled tight in discomfort, a mannerism Koushirou absentmindedly noted that Taichi shared before his death. But unlike Taichi, Hikari's tense shoulder were soothed when Takeru stepped up behind her with a light touch. The comfort was received unconsciously and a sharp piercing form of jealously went through Koushirou's body. What he would not do for long tan arms and a solid chest that belonged to Taichi to give him comfort, to erase his hurt right now.

"We've received a message from Genai." Hikari's voice strained and Koushirou heard the pain within it. She pulled her digi-terminal out for him to see and placed it in his hand. "We thought you might be able to make some sense of it."

Koushirou frowned. At least for now hadn't they done enough? Hadn't Taichi's death been enough? "What does he want now?" His fingers clutched the device incredulously.

"He wants us to go to Primary Village. He says it's urgent. He sent us this data file, but it's just a riddle." Takeru explained as Koushirou stood and look down at the message. On the screen there were only two sentences, but those sentences could have meant a variety of things.

" _ **The sun is reborn in the darkest hour of night. Come, have the courage to sow a seed in the place that things originate."**_

The red headed digidestined sighed in frustration and then looked to his friends. None of them looked happy, but they all had determination. He couldn't ignore this one. He couldn't. That wasn't Taichi's way, after all.

But above all, even now, Koushirou would not allow himself to hope.


End file.
